Even though I identify as binary male which theoretically makes me a straight guy, I really don't feel like I fit in to mainstream heteronormative society, or want to for that matter. If I was ever to pass 100% (which isn't likely) I suppose I would do my best to 'fit in' and be 'one of the guys' for the sake of an easy life but even if that were possible, I have this nagging feeling that it's not what I should be aiming for. I hate the traditional gender roles that my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles have tried to force upon me. I hate the hatred of men by women and vice versa which is so prevalent in our society. I hate the idea of marriage. I can see that a lot of this probably comes from my upbringing rather than my gender identity. I grew up in a very sexist, homophobic family with very rigid and old fashioned ideas about sexuality and gender. My parents have been unhappily married for what seems like forever to me and are constantly fighting. They are now in their late 50's and have ended up as very bitter and hateful of not only one another but the opposite gender in general. My ideal society would be one where gender and biological sex didn't matter as much. The old fashioned stereotypical gender roles would be abolished. There would be less cultural divides between the genders and a better understanding and tolerance of each other. There would be more gender neutrality and equality. Does anyone else feel like this?
Absolutely! I hate the word tolerance but I know what you mean. Having people be cool with other people just being themselves? Definitely. That would be amazing. I think it's possible, but it might not be happening too quickly. One can hope, though. Personally, I'm not interested at all in fitting into the binary. I fit in the binary, by and large, but I'm weird sometimes. I mean, I'm very quirky and I'm fine with that. If there's an aspect of yourself that you like and don't want to change and you feel it's a part of you, no one should ever try to change that. It's fine to change things that you don't feel have anything to do with being "you" but otherwise... society is very mean sometimes. People can be mean and thoughtless and stupid. I don't feel the need to fit into mean, thoughtless and stupid people's ideals. One day it'll be the norm to bend gender and sexuality. One day we will be able to say "Oh I prefer this pronoun" with people respecting it, no questions asked. We're slowly getting there. I hope, anyways.
I don't think anyone fits the binary 100% of the time, no matter what the media would have us believe. I think most people are actually somewhere closer to the middle if they stopped and looked at everything they feel and enjoy doing. Maybe we are just more aware of it. I think our society definitely needs some changes with regard to how we see gender. On the one hand, we are told to love and accept ourselves and celebrate differences, and on the other hand we are given very rigid social constructs for what defines males and females. It's silly when you think about it. But I look at some social activists and I have some hope for the future. Things are changing, slowly but surely.
I'm not straight so I might not be able to relate as well, but I hate gender roles. I don't think anyone really fits in 100%. I don't want to completely do away with gender, but I would like there to be a break down of gender roles.
