why me

Okay, take a deep breath. T and surgery shouldn't be on your mind like, at all right now. So just put all that info and figuring out and stress out of your mind. If you're wanting to transition, the first thing you have to do is tell your parents. If you aren't ready for that or to come out, that's okay too. Just put a pin in that too.

You started binding, so there is a good start. And could be considered a step of transitioning, which you can do before coming out. Try and keep doing that, although binding and then wearing a dress is not really putting you in the right head space.

Just take it one step at a time, and we will be here for you.

 

Well you might change your style... wearing unisex trousers, for example... a shorter hairstyle... and saying you like it, its your style...

 

There are little things you can do before coming out to your parents such as binding and changing your style. Just make sure you are using a binder and not ace bandages since those can be harmful to your body.

Would it be acceptable for you to wear dress pants and a blazer instead of a dress? Maybe, if your parents are especially insistent you could compromise and wear some low heels and a feminine shirt with them.
If not, see about getting some spandex shorts to wear under your dress. You can explain to your paren't that you feel exposed in a dress and, hey, modesty goes a long ways, so they'll probably be cool with that. No one wants to accidentally flash someone.

Kakashi made a really good point about taking a deep breath and moving forward one step at a time. Its great you've got a supportive friend. Is there a counselor or a teacher at your school you feel would also be supportive? Perhaps you could try speaking with them as well.

 

I had to wear a dress for a funeral, and other social ocassions, and it felt like a costume.
Try to imagine you are just wearing a costume. After all most of social gatherings like weddings, funerals and so on are just plays.
It's just for a few hours, and you can reward yourself afterwards

 

I totally get what you are feeling. My parents were similar, and it always grated when they wanted to put me in formal wear and then tried to compliment me on it.

While it may be a bit late for the cocktail party, I agree with jay's advice here. Your clothing style is defined by you. They do make "men's formalwear" in women's sizes, so it may be something to look into. Something nice if that's what you want to wear. You are in control of your style, and while family pressure sucks, don't let it get to you.

 

My family is very conservative as well. Would your friend be willing to go with you to speak to the counselor? I think it should be fine if you bring someone for support, particularly if you don't know the counselor well. I think it is great that you've found this site, as you will also find a lot of support here.