So while my dad now supports me fully and speaks/acts respectively, I've recently discovered something that doesn't quite add up to me. We were talking the other day and the subject of me wanting to eventually move out with some friends came up, mainly about one specific friend I would be living with. While in the past I've noticed he isn't keen on her, i figured it was a mixture of ignorance/needing to get to know her. After that conversation I have learned my dad is fine with me being a transguy, but cannot accept my friend who is a transgirl. When I asked him why he could accept one but not the other he admitted he didn't know. This is really awkward for me because I feel offended personally, and on behalf of my friend who is nothing but a lovely person. He did say it was easier for him to accept me because I was a kid, which makes me wonder if he would be okay with another transguy - again when I asked this he said he didn't know. I'm not sure how to feel about this/help him be more open-minded and was just wondering if anyone else had experienced similar things with friends/family? He was in the army for 26 years which probably contributed to his opinion a little. He knows I'll move out with her and my other friends regardless and accepts that. He just isn't happy with the idea. In his words 'I don't like you like hanging out with those people' - something he says without really thinking, since it offends me and probably my brother (whose out as gay)
Hm... That's kind of like my mom, who doesn't seem to like gay guys but accepts lesbians. She doesn't accept transgender people at all though. Meh, people have weird double standards...
It could be a sort of "trans by association" type of thoughts. He may think that you are being trans just to fit in with your group of friends. Also, he could be falling into the cultural trap of masculinity. In our culture, it is more acceptable for women to wear men's clothing than it is for men to wear women's clothing. If you do move in with them, it could take some time for him to become used to the idea. It sounds like he is open to learning though, so that is a good sign.
I would presume it might be he for himself feels what a man should be like and possibly repressing some feminine traits... and reflecting that onto others.... it might be just old upbringing, if he could relax and see that people are different nowadays and allow them to be what they are it might help... it was found that there are parts in the brains of transgender people that correspond with their desired gender... its really a womens idendity, maybe he could come to accept that... (*hug*)
There's a few ways it could go. One it that subconsciously by society men are superior, so having a woman be a man is almost like a level up whilst a man being a woman is a level down. That whole "Man up", "Be a man", "What are you, a little girl?", "You pussy". Transmen also seem to blend in easier, whereas transwomen because of boney features tend to have a rougher time looking natural. Also I wouldn't be too harsh with your dad, this is likely new territory for him and like you said he was in the army. To him watching you grow up, you're his investment and he loves you, so things will be more personable to you. For a stranger however he'll have to accommodate more. I understand the frustration. I'm sorry =[
It could be because he feels uneasy about the idea of a man becoming a woman because he identifies as male himself and can't imagine why a 'man' would want to become a woman. My mum is kind of the same with sexuality. For example, she is more or less ok with gay men but she can't accept lesbians. She says it's because she's a woman herself and can't imagine why women would want to be together in that way.
