When I was a little kid, I used to love wearing dresses and wished that I had long hair. I played with Barbies and Hot Wheels, Polly Pocket and Beyblade. But at the same time, I hung out with guys. Around grade four on is when I started voicing that I wished I was a boy. I hated the stereotypes associated with either gender. When my breasts started growing, I had a mixed reaction. I liked them at first but began to loathe them as time went on. After I realized I was gay, I had my hair cut to my shoulders, then to a boy's cut. I gradually stopped wearing feminine clothing and began to hate dresses and heels, as well. And yet while I hate my breasts and my butt, I love the curves of my hips and relish the fact that I don't have a penis. I started wondering if I could be trans, but I knew that wouldn't work. I don't feel fully male, but I still dislike being associated with the female gender. 'She' and 'her' irritate me when those words are used on me. I don't know what I am, or if I even AM something. It's been bothering me for a while now, especially after I got a genderfluid datefriend who used the 'they' pronoun for themselves. I really want to know if what I am feeling is normal, but everyone I talk to about it just says, "You are you," or says that it doesn't matter. To them, maybe it doesn't matter. But I feel like I need to know. Thanks in advance for any responses.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/155543-not-female-not-male-but.html#2 (*hug*)
Theres loads of types of (gender) identities, its probably worth looking into them. Examples are agender, genderfluid, androgynous,bigender, transsexual, transgender, demigendered. Some people can be a mix also, sometimes feeling inbetween but somedays leaning towards something else. Its worth looking at because you sound in a lot of confusion, i eish you the best!
