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The "right way" to transition

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Michael, Dec 6, 2014.

  1. Michael

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    My first appointment at the LGBT center left me worried about my transitioning. She said that most of transmen start taking T, and then they move to surgery.
    It's not the way I want to do things, to me it's the other way around. The way I want to transition is first by repairing where nature went wrong (top surgery and tubal ligation) before I start to add what I lack as a man (first being T, of course, really looking forward to it!!).

    I'll have to pay all the costs of the surgeries myself, because to start a fight with the healthcare system is out of the question for me. So I'm postponing my transition until I'm finished with my surgery. And in order to do that, I need a few months until I get enough money.

    What I need to know is what you guys think. If this could be maybe some kind of denial, or if this could have negative consequences, even if it's only for a few months. My social dysphoria is awful, has always been awful, but I'm right now in a good enviroment where I'm not perceived entirely as female. I'm also dressing like a man. Even if I'm still perceived as a female in the streets, it gives me my confidence back, and I enjoy it very much. It has even helped to stop most of the annoying cis men from trying anything, which feels great (I wish the females would try something, but I'm afraid this will never happen)

    As for the body dysphoria, it is literally killing me... The female parts disgust me. I never wanted them. They feel like a sick joke, a curse. The sensations of physical discomfort are at times depressing. I'm even having health problems, and being very close to anemia, because of them. I don't have any reason to keep mantaining such things on me. They are even making me sick. I wish somebody would help me, but the healthcare system would never listen to something like this. They think that it's your obligation to carry on and adapt to the situation, even if you just can't.

    Does somebody feel like this? Am I doing things wrong? Am I insane? It's so depressing.I don't know if I'm in denial by postponing the transition, or just listening to my real feelings about it :help:
     
  2. JustJJx

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    At the end of the day the only one who has authority over your body is yourself, so if you want this before that, then that's what you should go for! But taking advice from medically trained people wouldn't hurt...but on that note, try and find other trans man (blog pages, youtube videos etc etc) who have done what you want to, maybe they will be able to offer some insight?

    *hugs* If i could swap/get rid of my parts i would too :/
     
  3. Kira

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    The government still thinks they can tell us what we can and can't do to our own bodies, even when it is for the best that we immediately start and prevent irreversible damages. I've been having to go for about 8 years and they still can't even find me a gender therapist, then I have to spend two or three years there, and then HRT takes quite some time too. by the time all the government's fancy laws have taken their toll on us, the biological hormones have already kicked our butts to say the least. It's a shame, and I can probably blame bigots who don't want us advancing.
     
  4. BradThePug

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    There is no "right way to transition", as long as you go about it legally :slight_smile:

    The issue comes when you want to get documents changed. I know that in the United States, you have to be on T (or as they put it, undergoing "appropriate gender change treatment") to get you social security card changed. In my state (Ohio) I had to be seeing a therapist in order to get a gender change on my drivers license.

    The thing with T and top surgery is that T does help redistribute fat out of your breasts, so many top surgeons prefer that you have been on T before, since that means that they will mostly be removing breast tissue. Also, if you have been on T, then that is not the "first" medical treatment that you have had to become yourself.

    You also talk about severe dysphoria. Being on T has helped my dysphoria a ton, since I am now passing as male 100 percent of the time. It's also made it easier to bind, because of the redistribution. Being on T has helped my bottom dysphoria because I don't have to deal with that time of the month anymore.

    This all being said, in the end it is your decision how you want to transition, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm forcing opinions on you. It's your body, and you should do only what you want to do with your body.
     
  5. Tai

    Tai
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    As the others have said. I used to think like you too, but I found out about how T reduces fat going to breasts, so now I agree with T first, then surgery.
     
  6. Michael

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    Here is a bit more complicated, you need two legal witnesses (won't say the german name here) to sign a paper that says you are trans, and in order to get those papers you need between 5-10 appointments with them, answering their questions, and this is not cheap. I need to pay for this myself too. I guess you must be also on T, to "qualify as trans" for them.

    Well, I didn't knew about the fat distribution being so important when it came to the top surgery. I'd be glad with a completly flat chest, to be honest, and a few good shaped muscles on the right places. I don't think that my bone structure would like to gain a ton of weight all of sudden, and due to me being so old for all the transition, my chances to gain a few centimeters of height are zero.

    I guess I should look first for a gender therapist. I'm full of fears right now, and I feel like I'm posting here way too much already about things that I should know by now.

    Thanks for all the responses, I'll let you know when I'm making some kind of progress, right now it seems I'm stuck again...
     
  7. Angelus

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    No right way to Transition.

    I am still hunting for a Gender therapist, don't see a endocrinologist yet.

    Suffer with heart problems, worry and anxiety over how T will react to my Tachycardia.

    Increased blood volume worries me too.


    I don't pass yet, in public I barely speak for fear I wont speak " manly enough".

    I bind with a ace bandage, yes bad, but my GYN said its ok to do.

    Im trying to get a real binder next month.

    Im still needing to get a Mirena IUD put in so my period will cease while I wait for T.

    UGHHH.

    Meantime atleast my fiancé and roommate are 100% supportive :slight_smile:
     
  8. jay777

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    You might look up what other people in your country have done.
    And inspiring stories, not sad ones.

    A system conists of people.
    As far as I have read, there are all kinds of doctors able to make a t prescription (not talking about legal stuff like name changes). You just have to find one and convince them. Maybe they can even declarate this as hormone imbalance .

    Having a gender therapist might help in general...


    (*hug*)