Hello. I'm new here so hi. I need help. I have all of my life been questioning if I'm really a female. I have never been into the stereotypical girl stuff like makeup,dolls,clothes,etc. I used to dream when I was little that I was a man and when I woke up I became sad that I'm in my female body. I recently told my feelings to my aunt and she has been supportive but she does not really understand that much. I want to physically change but she thinks that there is major side effects. It hurts me when she tells me I'm a female and you always will be one. I'm not really disgusted with my genitals but having the male organ would really please me. My family thinks that to be a Male you have to be sexual (Which I am somewhat but I don't really talk about anything sexual to them). I just don't know what to do. I want to start wearing men's clothes but I still go to school and you get made fun of really easily. I'm somewhat sensitive soo... yeah. If any one could help me that would just make my day. Thank you for reading. :help:
Hi there. Unfortunately even open-minded people with regards to gay rights might not have a clue about gender: transgender rights lag far behind gay rights and it'll take a while for this to change. Your aunt and your family might have never heard of it before, so to expect them to understand right away is a very high bar to set. Be patient with them. But also they need to start educating themselves; that's on them. To find people in real life who do understand you, start by looking into support groups for teens: your school's GSA, your city's LGBT center (most cities have them), etc. EC is also a great place to meet people; there are people at all stages of transition. Facebook has a bunch of social groups for FtMs too. It's true there are unifying experiences that define being trans; in particular, wanting/needing to be seen as a different gender from that which you were assigned at birth. But not all transmen are disgusted by their genitalia, or maybe they aren't at first but as transition moves along they become less comfortable with it (or more comfortable). Things change over time for some guys, or don't for others. Just because you don't have the same experience as every transguy doesn't mean you have to invalidate your own experience. I don't really have much advice to give you school-wise; I kept the lowest profile ever, conformed so nobody would see me, and I got by. But I wouldn't recommend that. If it's not cutting it for you, you can start by bending the rules a little bit at a time and see what happens, even if it's just wearing a scarf from the boy's department. Plenty of girls wear boys' tshirts; you could get away with that without attracting attention. Pants are a little trickier, but luckily skinny jeans for men can look pretty androgynous. Hugs!!!
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156085-i-just-im-kind-scared.html#4 You might play a bit with hairstyle and clothing style... sweaters one or two sizes bigger, unisex or mens jeans, etc... what you feel comfortable with... there are threads on clothing for ftm... The tg spectrum goes i.e. from people living with almost androgynous appearance, to styling more like the preferred gender, to taking hormones, etc... Of course the list is not all possible options. It's up to you to collect further information... You might also for example talk to a gender therapist, a counselor from school or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want... saying you want some counseling... I would do things I'm comfortable with, don't feel pressured to do something... its your decision... There is no only one right way to do this. Its your choice what you want to do... You might look for support groups, maybe in your local lgbt center... and build some community on EC, for now you can chat with others via wall messages, after 14 days you can apply for full membership and join the chat and send private messages... (*hug*)
Thank you both so much for the advice! I already feel much better about it. I'm glad I found a site where you can express yourself without being harassed. Hugs for yall!
(*hug*)(*hug*) This is a site where people try to give sound advice. Just ask questions and speak your mind
