Growing up I was a happy kid I was a real tomboy. I never thought anything about my body until my body started to develop. I remember that day so clear. I looked in the mirror and saw my breasts and curled up into a ball in my bed and cried all night. Every day since that I wished I would wake up and everything that's girly or feminine about my body would disappear. I wish I was born male so much I cant stand it. I have felt really depressed for years. I don't know why I feel this way I was fine as a kid but ever since my body developed I have felt depressed for years.
As a born guy I can say that I must have been friends with a few young woman that were dealing with these same issues. I've said on other threads that I must have been drawn to them as I believed they might understand me on some level. I've always been bi. Also, they seemed in some way mellow but brooding internally. Maybe they were experiencing what you experienced? As I am a real jerk at steeling threads, I'll get out but I hope my testimony helps!
Growing up, I was never happy with myself. When it came to experiencing puberty and becoming a woman, I hated it. I hated being told about the "sexy" female body I would have and all of that jazz. I didn't want to believe that this would apply to me. When I started my period, I took it very badly. It took me a very long time for me to "adjust". My hips got wider and I hated it. I think the biggest thing I was concerned about was having big breasts. I prayed so hard that I would get big breasts. Thankfully, they didn't get big. Buying clothing was irritating. etc. Even now, I still haven't 100% adjusted.
I remember liking my teen self because my body wasn't so different from any other girl, I was so skinny. I don't remember being so comfortable with my body... then I started to grow old and... well, I'm still skinny but not very girly anymore I don't really dislike my penis (Actually I love it lmao) but I really really wish I was hairless, especially in my legs ugh! I didn't have this problem when I was a teenager and even guys found me attractive at the time so I understand how you feel, but the good news is that you can actually change some aspects of your physic to become the person you really feel inside Sometimes it's not very easy... or cheap, but you have to try
I never paid much attention to my body until it developed either. Then I freaked out, even told my mother I wanted to cut these things on my chest off. I also hated when someone would "compliment" me on my body's female qualities. (These days I don't mind getting complimented on my thighs though)
I hated those types of compliments, as well. I still don't particularly like getting those types of comments.
Ugh, as soon as I started developing...I felt like I was dying. I tried so hard to keep my breasts from growing, and when I started menstruating...it didn't hit me, that it would be a monthly thing, and when I realised, I broke down. I fought a battle against every milestone of young womanhood. I swore I wouldn't go through with any of it, and everyone reassured me it would be ok, it was normal, and that was the most frustrating part - I didn't want it to be normal, I didn't like where it was going, and I never did manage to adjust really. You're not alone man.
