I read something on FaceBook, someone said "out of respect, I call trans people by their preferred pronouns etc., but that doesn't change that they will always be biologically the sex they were born as. It's scientific." Reading this made me really dysphoric, because as a logical thinker, I know it's technically true. I haven't been so much in the last week or so, because I have been able to ignore my body, and have been perceived (online) as what I try any am, an effeminate man. But this painfully reminded me of the little things I can't change.. Like my bone structure.. It will always be female.. I'll always have a female pelvic bone etc. I'll always have XX chromosomes.. I'll always have these genitals I hate. It makes me want to tear myself apart. Why couldn't I have been born as a regular male... Coming out as a gay cross dresser would have been so much easier than living my entire life in this wretched body...
Well you aren't biologically female according to your brain sooooo... GGs, you aren't 100% female either. So if you aren't male or female what are you? Human. How many cis genders walk around not realizing biologically they are not their perceived sex? Biological is an improper word, and anyone who uses it to justify anything in regards to cis/trans-ness is ignorant. There are female atheletes who were disqualified in some sports because genetically they were male... How can that be? It's not an open and shut case, and all I can say is don't let incorrect reasoning bog you down, and we all wish we could have things different about our bodies =[
I don't agree. After all, It's been proven that cisgender women can have XY chromosomes so they're no different than post-op transwomen. Biology isn't as clear cut as some people think. As for trans men, I really really hope surgery keeps improving with time, as of right now trans women have it better in the SRS department. People say ignorant things like this to put people down. It's like saying 'Gay people can never have real love or sex because It's 'biology' to put a penis and a vagina together to make a baby". Or "Gay people can never get married, they can call it what they want, but It's not a 'marriage' since it was always defined between a man and a woman'.
I'm not "neither male or female." (Though my look, mannerisms and attitude towards gender roles may suggest it). I'm just a guy.. I'm just your average femboy.. But I had to be born like this.... The one chance I have at living, and I'm like this. I have these parts I was born with that don't match what my brain is. That's a fact, proven by science (they found transsexuals' brains are "wired" like that of the gender they identify) What's also a fact is, even though my brain is male, my body is not, and as they said, hormones and surgery will fix it but not 100%
According to some studies, trans people's brains are aligned with that of their gender, and not that of their sex. So, like DoriaN has said, this means that you are not 100% male or female (when it comes to biology). One of the hardest thing for me to come to terms with about being trans is that I will forever be living in that gray area between male and female. I'll never be either in most people's eyes. This has become easier for me to cope with as I have began to pass more thankfully. No matter what people say about your identity, only you can know what you identify as, since not everybody can know what you are feeling. So, they have no right to tell you what you are and are not.
I don't like that.. I just want to be seen as male. If someone sees me as androgynous, let it be for the way I look/act, not because I have this body. Which is why I never tell anyone I'm trans. I'm just seen as a boy, as I should be.
Even though this is how you think that you should be seen, if you are not passing, then that totally goes out the window. The one thing to remember is that we do have that disconnect between what we see ourselves as and how others see us. So, what I am saying is that even though you see yourself as male, that does not mean that others are going to see you that way. Our society has been taught to nit-pick signs for gender. This makes it harder to pass. Since you see yourself as male, you are male. The problem is that others are not seeing you as male right now. The key is coming to terms with this as being your situation right now, and work so that in the future it will not be your situation.
Gender comes across as much in the personality and spirit of a person as it does in their physical features. This occurred to me when I was watching transition videos.
Who knows... There is no definite proof about a second chance or reincarnation, nor against it. This time we are born like this, true. Not telling you to wait for a second chance, only to be aware there is no way to prove it, so it's absurd to go again there and let the idea beat you for nothing. Been there a hundred times and it's no use, trust me. Right here and right now. We have no idea what kind of surgery will be available in 20 years. Most of older transmen say that those feelings dissapear after you've been living a while passing as male, with a male name and (if you can) living on stealth as they say. People can't see your chromosomes right away, the first they notice is simply that your shoulders are bigger than your hips, things like that... If you can't change it, I guess you must learn to live with it...
I think you misunderstood me. I wasn't trying to say I was angry about not passing! In the communities I socialize with I pass just fine (which might be hard for you to believe), and it's just a matter of time before I take hormones which will help me pass in real life, at least to the point where I can actually correct people when they "ma'am" me (my voice doesn't allow me to do such at the moment). I'm aware people will mistake my gender even when I transition fully (and when I do, I definitely want to be stealth as I don't even want to "identify as trans". No one needs to know), as I will not be changing my style. I was angry about what is inside that is physically different from normal males. I have no need to dress or look hyper-masculine. I have my hair long and wear makeup because I WANT to. And that is a part of me that will never change, nor do I want it to. That FaceBook thread made me dysphoric and that's all. Everything's fine now, anyways.
You seem to be having more of an issue as how they perceive you as a feminine male. It sounds like it's not so much you passing as a male but since you are a feminine male that's not considered masculine enough. This is a problem that biological males face too. Correct me if I'm wrong of course. But this doesn't sound like as much physical dysphoria as much as a social issue which in turn makes your physical dysphoria worse.
Society just needs to ditch the stereotypes and realise that many biological males are born with a vagina.
You're a male to me , it's a shame that society still thinks of trans people as a third gender .:dry:
Yes, you are wrong. I LIKE to be considered a feminine male, because I am one. I was angry about being physically female, nothing else.
Science is on your side in my opinion. But I'll stow my usual spiel about hormones and sexual dimorphism. Unless you want my opinions on that? Your past is something you can't change though right? As soon as elementary school ended, we all got gendered this way and that and I spent the next few years of my life staring at everything from the outside. It sucks. I'll always be "tall" or get comments like "amazon women are attractive though" when people try to make me feel better. We have come a long way, but I will never have a lot that cis women take for granted. So yeah, I mean, that's all I wanted to say here. I feel it too. (*hug*)
What I'm seeing though is people less accepting you as male because of being a feminine one is exacerbating the problem with biology.
