I have a theory...

I have a theory....

I know that this is going to be controversial and I'm not saying this applies to all trans guys. This is just my own personal experience of gender dysphoria and what I noticed in the process I went through as I realized I was trans.

I have just typed my suspicions into Google and lo and behold, there are others who have speculated about this and even scientific studies that back up my theory. I know these studies are not conclusive and much more testing needs to be done to be sure of anything but I'm sure as you carry on reading, you'll see why I'm worried about my feelings and what I have found out.

My first doubts about my gender came about when I was trying to come to terms with my sexuality. I didn't feel comfortable at all with being sexualized. It made me both angry and uncomfortable to have a female body because of the sexualization of women in general. I hated the idea of men or women for that matter being attracted to me as a female. It made me squirm. I gradually became more and more uncomfortable with the female aspects of my appearance and began to wish that the shoe was on the other foot and that I was male.

At the same time, coming to terms with my sexuality meant that for the first time in my life, I thought about being in a relationship. Again, I came up against issues and realized that I did not see myself as being the female partner. I felt like I should be male. I gradually realized that not only was I uncomfortable with being physically female but I also did not and could not fit the social role of a woman, even if it meant taking on a more masculine identity. I noticed women were much more socially adept than I and showed much more emotional warmth. I was socially awkward, had always found it difficult to relate to others, lacked emotion and sympathy, and struggled to understand and interpret my own and others emotions. I concluded that the way I felt was not female at all and that socially, I would fit in better with men. Added to my body dysphoria, I therefore concluded that I was transgender.

I can't remember exactly how I stumbled across the idea that I might be on the autistic spectrum but I think it may have been something to do with realizing in my counselling sessions that there was something wrong with my interpretation of emotions and other's intentions. Realizing I was trans did not give me all of the answers to what was wrong with me but when I came across Asperger's Syndrome, I realized that the symptoms described me exactly. I have yet to be tested but I'm 99% sure it's going to come back positive.

As time has gone on, I have noticed just how much it is my autistic traits and not the gender dysphoria that impair my ability to lead a normal life. I never feel comfortable among other people, I struggle to make conversation, I can't/don't want to form friendships or relationships, I struggle to read other's emotions, I struggle to cope with change, I get overwhelmed by noise and crowds, I struggle to manage multiple tasks at once, I find it difficult to feel emotions and feel close to people and the only way for me to get through social situations is by acting. I can tell you that life is no fun with these kind of impairments but I have noticed that around the time of my period, my ability to feel my emotions and relate to people significantly improves and I feel more female. This has got to be down to hormonal changes. (I should add I'm not on t and I have not been taking any kind of contraceptives). It's almost as though the female hormones helps reduce my autistic tendencies.

The point I'm trying to get at is that I feel that my autistic traits are the cause of my gender dysphoria and I'm worried that testosterone will only make me more autistic.


What does anyone think about the possible connection?

 

The studies show that autistic traits predate the taking of testosterone. It may be that feeling more comfortable with yourself will give you the space you need to better cope with others and deal with emotions. That's how it was for me, at any rate. I do tend to have a stereotypically male approach to emotions, meaning I rarely express them, but I've become more comfortable with them since.

Sources: I was misdiagnosed with autism before I transitioned.

 

Hm, that's an interesting theory. I think I've seen a thread similar to this before actually, but my memory is horrible so don't take my word for it.

I don't really have much to say except that my little cousin has Asperger's Syndrome and it does indeed sound like you have it.

 

Funny, I knew 3 cisguys in secondary school with Asperger's Syndrome and all three agreed I had it to some extent. Never bothered getting officially diagnosed though. I just say I'm a bit socially awkward if it ever comes up. I think the worst thing anyone's ever accused me of being was a sociopath ... Not sure where that even came from but I am terrible at working out the correct thing to say/do when someone else is emotional and so tend to sit there silently with them instead. :/

 

I heard that's pretty common for DFAB aspies being trans males. I don't think it is something that may cause dysphoria since I don't experience that and I have high suspicious that I have Aspergers.

 

I'm the same or more often just avoid emotional people altogether. It freaks me out when people cry.

 

Nice to know I'm not the only one who freaks out

 

I have heard this before but I don't know if it's true or not. I don't have any kind of autism so....

 

I don't share those feelings, except for this part, which I thought about a lot during my stage of self acceptance

After a while I had to dismiss it, because my doubts and fears were already present during my childhood, when I wished to grow up and become like my father, and felt terrified to become like my mother, school teachers, or any other female in any way (mental and physical).
I've never have been diagnosed with autism, but a lot of people have been afraid of me after seeing me pissed, and I've heard a lot the words "you are so agressive". I can't tell if they said so because I didn't reacted like a normal female, or if I'm really agressive...

 

Now you're got me super curious. Since transmen have male brains, it makes sense that they would have autism at the same rates as men, not as women. Someone should conduct a study!

So, I'm completely shooting into the dark here, but I'm going to hypothesize as well. The current most compelling argument for rising rates of autism is the increased prevalence of environmental toxins that interfere with how the brain wires up prenatally. Many of these toxins are xenoestrogens or otherwise mimic reproductive hormones, which in addition to boosting chances of autism and schizophrenia also interfere with the sexual differentiation of the brain. (Now I'm reaching onto a limb here ...) If sexual differentiation of gender identity occurs prior to the proliferation of autistic wiring pathways, which I believe it does, then those who are female-bodied but now have male brains will still be most vulnerable to the effects of these toxins (as it relates to autism). Thus, certain neurodevelopmental disorders might be expected to found at higher rates among transfolk.

What do you guys think of my harebrained theory?

 

It's a possibility. I think there is a connection between a masculinized brain and autism. But how does this work out for autistic trans women? Do autistic trans women exist? And also, it seems unfair that I inherited the autism and turned out to be trans when my brother and sister are cis, straight and non-autistic.

Another thing my mum has pointed out, a lot of kids I grew up with in school around my age have turned out to be gay. My mum thinks it's some kind of coincidence like an environmental trigger.

 

I like it Sam.

It's no secret many or seemingly most people who are trans have some other side complication.

I have OCD and cyclothymia, neither of which effect my trans status (Personally).

I remember reading about 1 guy who had something like multiple personality disorder or something, and he 'cured' his trans identity and claimed as such; when really all he did was stifle 1 of his multiple personalities.

For me the fear would be someone being invalidated in your gender because of another effect.. That would cause for inner wrestling.

 

At the same rate as non-trans autistic women, or slightly higher, I would imagine. Although 3 in 4 people currently diagnosed with autism are male, IIRC, that still means 1 in 4 people is female.

My mom's autistic, for example, and I'm pretty sure that if she'd been born in my generation she would have identified as a transman or as genderqueer.

If feel like we should all gang up together and go pay a visit to Tyche, Goddess of Luck, and give her a piece of our mind. :dry: I've got depression and used to have PTSD, and I'm one of those 50% of people who could have been diagnosed with Asperger's as kid but grew out of it during puberty.

Huh, that's super interesting! A few studies have suggested that it's the prenatal hormonal environment (among other things) that alters the genetic pathways of sexual differentiation, and an environmental toxin could ostensibly do the trick. I wonder if there used to be a factory in your town (or anywhere near your water supply).

---------- Post added 14th Dec 2014 at 11:52 AM ----------

That's ... terrifying. I know someone with dissociative identity disorder (formerly called multiple personality disorder) and as far as I can tell, trans identity has nothing to do with the DID. The main personality is currently experimenting with their gender identity, and one of the alters is multi-gendered, but so far as I can tell the two conditions are completely unrelated.

What sort of other effect? This is a really interesting idea - can you say more?

 

I've already seem an article created by an aspie trans woman, she said that her autistic traits were more similar to how females experienced Aspergers.

 

Yeah I have depression and anxiety as well as Asperger's. :tantrum:

There would have been several factories. There still is quite a few. And there is an old landfill nearby. I didn;t know about that until recently.

Hmmm...Interesting

 

Hm... This is quite interesting. Mostly because I've recently been considering I may have Asperger's myself. I show most of the symptoms I've read about online, and people sometimes ask me if I have it. I just tell them I don't know.

Also, I often feel that my Asperger's traits make it difficult for me to 'fit in' with girls. Girls always seem so warm and friendly, making social chichat and inviting me to sit with them at lunch. The conversations are, unfortunetely, terribly uncomfortable, because I don't know how to keep talking, and eventually I'm just staring awkwardly at the floor. Things like making friends, being social, and interacting with others in an emotional way... such things don't come naturally to me. I admire the way girls seem so bubbly and cheerful. They are so beautiful. ♥^^ I feel very separate from girls, and I think more than half the reason for that is because of my inability to relate to them. I can relate to boys better, but not completely. The rest of the reason would be because I dress in an androgynous manner, because I am attracted to girls, and because I'm identifying as a demigirl (mostly girl, but party genderless or agender).

Overall, what I'm saying is, I think my autistic traits confuse me further about my gender.

 

Interesting... My situation is pretty similar to yours. I wonder if those autistic/aspergers people have a different perception of their genders and if it's more likely that they identify themselves as a non-binary gender than neurotypical people.

 

Yeah, I wonder too. It's so confusing for me.

 

This is really an interesting theory. Sadly, I can't add my own experiences because I am not autistic, even though I relate with many of the signs you just described.

 

Your hormones do fluctuate during the week of your period. But the thing is, that at the time of your period, your estrogen levels are actually much lower than they are when you're not menstruating - they're much closer to your natural testosterone levels. It's actually a dramatic drop in estrogen and progesterone, the female hormones, that triggers your period to start, and after they drop, they don't peak again until about 2 weeks after your period.

I'm not saying that hormones aren't a factor in the trend you've noticed, because they can be, just that it isn't an abundance of estrogen that's reducing your tendencies.