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My 5 yr old niece is questioning her identity

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by caitylynn07, Dec 16, 2014.

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  1. caitylynn07

    caitylynn07
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Folsom, LA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've come here seeking advice.
    My niece is 5, and she is sweet as can be. She is very attached to me and my wife.
    My nieces father came to me and told me that my niece told him that she didn't feel normal, that she felt like she was a boy and that she liked girls, and has asked me to talk to her about everything because of who I am in her life (mind you we are all very supportive of whatever she is because we always knew she was different)
    What I am torn with is how I should explain this lifestyle to my niece and make her feel comfortable in her skin. I am a femme, my wife is a dyke but doesn't really "identify" and I think she relates to my wife more, I've never done this before, so any advice on how I could explain gender identity to my niece is greatly appreciated (&&&)
     
    #1 caitylynn07, Dec 16, 2014
  2. Manta

    Manta
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    Hey there!

    Some of the kids I work with are five, and can understand your difficulties. I don't think you need to go into too much depth with a five year old. You'll have plenty of time. Start simple, and keep it simple for a few months, then build on it a bit. The first thing to make sure is understood is that it's okay to feel like a boy and like girls, but not to try to change your body yourself (that's what doctors are for).

    I would ask about how comfortable the bathroom is. If using the girls bathroom is causing stress/anxiety, then working with the school to address this would be a good step. Allowing choice of clothing is another thing that could help, although I've seen some really interesting outfits as a result...
     
    #2 Manta, Dec 16, 2014
  3. caitylynn07

    caitylynn07
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Folsom, LA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Awesome! I didn't even think about the bathroom situation. I definitely don't wanna go hardcore in depth but I wanted to make sure that telling her it is okay to be different. She's also very afraid that she is gonna go to hell. For 5 years old. She know a lot, to much for her age. But she has been through a lot and has had someone sexually molest her, could that be related to her feeling the way she feels or can they know at that age??

     
    #3 caitylynn07, Dec 16, 2014
  4. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I'm not an expert on the effect abuse could have, but I would keep it simple and just let her be herself (however she wants to be) and support her and make sure she knows it's ok to be different
     
    #4 Acm, Dec 16, 2014
  5. Dinah

    Dinah
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    I just finished reading an article (link below) that should steer you in the right direction. A youtube search for "transgender" will bring up countless videos on the subject of transgender youth/teens. If only us older generations of trans* people had such resources growing up, anyway you won't have any trouble finding support resources, EC is a good place to start. :thumbsup: :eusa_clap


    Check Out Two Trans Youth Who Are Changing the Way America Looks at Gender | Autostraddle
     
    #5 Dinah, Dec 16, 2014
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