Correcting friends who misgender me

I can only say it straight-up: be short but assertive. Mid-conversation I'll often interject with my correct name/pronoun but leave it at that, if I see someone else misgender me without me being involved in the conversation (i.e. online) then I'll quickly remind them in private/PM them of the correct terms without calling them out publicly.

You have a right to your own identity as well as your own name/pronouns and it takes time for other people to adjust. You want your friends to replace old habits with new ones, thus you need to point out when they mess up. Mistakes will happen while those old habits are still there, but they won't be changed if you let them slide. Eventually your friends will get the hang of it and you won't have to worry about it.

 

Well personally I have a friend who wants to go by they/them and I would be lying if I said I never slip up. Don't be afraid to subtle correct your friend, I wish sometimes I would get corrected when I mess up though I am little more understanding being in a similar position as my friend. Even though I have known my friend for a long time it didn't take long for me to get adjusted to these new pronouns and I think in time your friends will too.

 

This may not help with the anxiety, but when they mis-gender you, just give them a puzzled look and say "hmm?" It may be easier than "actually" correcting them but still drive the point home.

 

The moment I'm misgendered I just say the right pronoun. Annoys my dad xD I do the same with my name, my mums taking longer to adjust.

 

I am perfectly fine with correcting my friends, just... Not so much with my parents. Too much emotional attachment on both parts. ._.

 

a few people have added in the name mistake, and I think that is the best way to think of it. you ask about them getting the gender wrong, but just think how you would react if they got your name wrong, or called you by someone else's name. the first time you might let it slide, but eventually you would get tired of being called the wrong name, and you would want them to know as well, so you would just politely say the correct name, and if that didn't work, you would say, "my name is xxx not yyy." gender misnaming can be handled the same way. and honestly, I think that your friends would appreciate you pointing it out. I would.

 

If you don't say anything, nobody will know what the problem is. It's not really fair to expect them to read your mind, to somehow know why they're being punished. especially if you don't think they're doing it on purpose.

 

You'll want to be careful when/if you do correct them. You don't want to make it seem like you think that they are not trying. I fell into this trap a few times. It just makes people angry at you, and that does not accomplish anything. It may be best to sit them down and explain to them how it feels to you when you are misgendered or called by the wrong name.

 

My apologies. I agree that came across as unfair. what I thought you meant was that you were shutting down because you were mad at them. but I stand corrected! :tears:

 

Thank you!!! I really appreciate your response. Wishing you a heart full of joy and peace that pierces through the darkness of the night! (*hug*)

 

What about a sign that reads your preferred gender? Just a hand-held one that you can raise whenever you're misgendered.