I'd like this thread to be a place where people can talk about their life experiences identifying as demiboys, demigirls, any and all demigenders and discuss what these terms mean for them. Even if you don't identify as such, maybe it can be an opportunity to speak out and learn more. I also want to know how I relate to these feelings. I'm still kinda unsure about my gender but I think I'm getting a more complete idea of it. See, I'm biologically male, but I feel major disconnect between myself and the body I was born in to the point that I feel way more comfortable considering myself female. I wanna be known as a she, not as a he. Like, that's who I am—almost. That's where it gets a bit more complicated; I feel like I'm not 100% a girl either, I fall short of considering myself wholly female. When I say to myself "I am a girl" it sounds hard for me to believe. In some ways I wonder if this is just a symptom of me feeling low confidence on being a trans*girl since I know I don't look like a girl, or have many supposedly "feminine" qualities. My ideal body would fuse both the male and female traits I find desirable, which means I can't see myself as a total female. I wouldn't want to do a complete 180 if given the chance, and end up with a 100% biologically female body. Is this the feeling of being a demigirl? I've heard that demigirls tend to be those biologically born female who don't wholly identify with their gender, as well as those biologically born male who identify far more as a female than a male but for some reason or another don't see their gender as totally female either.
Hm, well I consider myself to be a demigirl (biologically female) and I'm 100% okay with having a female body. But in most other ways I am not 100% okay with being considered a girl. I feel out of place with girls (like when boys and girls play against each other on teams) and feel more similar to my genderfluid friends (I imagine I'd feel even more similar to androgynous friends, but I don't have any in real life). Being referred to as a girl will occasionally bother me, but not usually, unless I feel it is totally categorizing me. I identify more as 'me' than as a gender. I am like a girl in the way that I am okay with being physically female and usually okay with being considered a girl by other people (more than half the time anyway). I think the only real requirements to be a demigirl are to consider yourself a girl, and also to consider yourself something else at the same time.
Hi, I don't want to seem like an ass and I really, really hope that someone can help answer this for me. But I admit that I've never really understood what it means to be demigendered? (is that the right term?) And I don't want to come across as ignorant but basically, when someone says they're a demi-girl and they say that they identify as a girl and "part of something else", how exactly would you describe that "something else?" Could you just as easily describe yourself as a girl but not "typical"? Thanks. And I apologize but I've just never been able to really understand it.
I'm doing my best to understand it too, to see if it's a good term to describe my feelings. I'll give you the response that's currently relevant to me and how I would relate to the term "demigirl." From there, you can decide if it's applicable to understanding "demigender." My gender is how I envision my self-identity, and for me it works like this: "If I could leave my current body and take up another form to match the way I feel as a human, what would I see when I looked in the mirror? How would I prefer others to perceive me and treat me?" If I looked in the mirror, I'd have a female body instead of a male body in terms of my external appearance, but I would not want to exchange reproductive systems. I'd still much prefer to be perceived and treated as a girl. So the term "demigirl" might work for me because I want to be perceived and treated that way, even if I don't feel like a girl with absolutely every fiber of my being. This is just my take on it; I'm sure there are lots of other ways people could interpret it. That "other part" of me which I don't see as being a girl I don't classify as male either, if anything I'd classify that "other part" of me as feeling inherently gender neutral.
I identify as Transmasculine myself, but I have considered, and relate to being Demigender, or Demiboy. Sometimes I feel ambiguous with my gender, which ends up defaulting to me being female for convenience sake, most days I feel more male. I believe (and correct me if I'm wrong) that being Demigender (for example being a demigirl) means you identify mostly as female and something else. This something else can vary on the individual (mostly girl, sometimes boy, or mostly girl and sometimes agender, etc) Does this sound right?
Yeah, sounds right to me. 'Mostly girl and sometimes agender' is me. Or maybe it's more like 'mostly girl and partly agender' because I kinda feel like both at the same time. ---------- Post added 24th Dec 2014 at 06:24 PM ---------- Being demigender is like saying you identify as one gender but also just partly with another gender as well. Like, a demiboy might consider himself a boy but also feel partly androgynous. The 'part of something else' can be unidentified. It's a confusing gender identity that's kinda different for everyone that uses it to describe themselves, I guess. As for "Could you just as easily describe yourself as a girl but not "typical"?" yes, but 'demigirl' is perhaps more accurate. A demigirl is a girl who's not 100% girl. ---------- Post added 24th Dec 2014 at 06:31 PM ---------- I found a definition online: "Demigender refers to someone who is either a demiboy or a demigirl. A demiboy is someone who identifies as partially male, partially something else. Usually, it’s a nonbinary gender, or lack of a gender, as someone half male and half female will generally identify as bigender; however, there are exceptions. Demigirl is the same thing, only with female in place of male, and vice versa. This is regardless of your physical sex. There is no physical sex requirement to identifying as a demiboy or a demigirl."
If I go by this definition, it'd be more accurate to call myself a demiboy. But I don't know, that doesn't sound right. Maybe because I've identified as a trans boy for quite a while.
I am another person that does not fully understand the concept of demigender. I have read the definition, and to me, it seems like more of an extension of bigender. Also, going by the definition, I would be covered by that, but I find the label transmasculine more comfortable to me.
Thank you for posting the definitions/explanations! I've been pretty unclear on what it is so this is very helpful
It is an extension of bigender. I could call myself bigender but it feels less comfortable for me. 'Demigirl' specifies that I am, in some way, a girl, but in some way not. Bigender just means "two genders" right? I don't usually think of myself as being two genders; I think of myself as feeling vaguely like a girl but otherwise feeling genderless. To me, 'genderless' is not a gender at all, but rather a lack of gender. In that case I wouldn't have two genders...
I see bigender as identifying as 2 genders within or outside of the gender binary. I see agender and genderless as an identity, since that is something that you actively have to identify as. So, the long story short is that I see bigender as identifying as two identities, not necessarily two genders.
Hm, well, I suppose it's all a matter of opinion. I just don't like to think of my genderlessness as being a gender itself, and bigender seems to imply that it is a gender. I think people who are bigender usually consider bigender as meaning two genders. *shrugs*
The parallel here for me is related to bisexuality. It is not heterosexuality or homosexuality; it is a combination of both, in effect. What's being discussed here sounds like a combination of viewpoints that usually appear exclusively.
