Im ok most of the time, but sometimes i get so fucking frustrated and alone. im transsexual btw. I haven't come out to anyone but my mom and a few freinds, and my mom has told me not to do anything drastic. so i cant experiment, i cant express myself, i feel like i cant move. im so fucking tired of feeling this way and i just want out. i just want to be myself and i just want someone to talk to. ive felt this way for so long now that i feel numb. i feel like im so compressed and just fucking trapped. i feel like the my brain is under a cave it feels like everything is wrong and i just want someone to vent to. i need someone to escape. someone to talk to face to face. i just need someone to vent to. i feel like im going to explode.
Hey, don't worry. You have the whole community here to talk to. Lots of us are good listeners and a lot have gone through what you're going through. It's going to be ok. (*hug*) Make some new friends while you're here! They really help, and they'll help you through this. You're not alone in this world. I'm not good at advice, so I hope this helps a teensy bit.
I know how you feel it feels like your suffocating everyday of your life. I ask that you not feel alone though you have your mom and that's awesome at least you have somebody. My parents make my life a living hell everyday for what I am so I asked that you appreciate what you have because some of us don't have that
You know................if all the people who were alone on this planet got together........we wouldn't be alone anymore. We really aren't alone anyway. We are all on the same planet. It just sucks that there's so much space between us all.
This is totally understandable for so many people. It can be related to physical isolation (being away at school or send to BFE for work), insecurities, age, health, financial woes, sexual orientation, and many other reasons. When I was in senior year of college, I was talking to a girl I knew about a mutual friend and, regarding his nonchalance, independent streak, and devil may care attitude, she said, "He has learned to become his own best friend." This story is actually bifurcated. That expression was etched into my brain like Super Glue. However, this guy who everyone thought was so neat turned out to be a self-absorbed, narcissistic jerk. However, hang on to the "learn to be your own best friend" portion of the story. Learn to enjoy your own company the best you can by doing things that take your mind off of the negativity or that you find soothing. I don't normally do the following, as it's typically associated with crazy old ladies, but one day, I decided to get some bread, go to a neat park next to a river where there is a boat dock, and feed the birds. Well, some people, like a normal mom type and her kids, were already there doing the same thing! I experienced a first ... just as a few of the more relaxed birds were doing with this family, a few of them periodically landed on my forearm and I was literally hand feeding them. That may sound trivial, but it was one of those small things that really brightened that particular day. Look for things that have the same effect for you. We're all in this crazy boat of having to deal with loneliness at one time or another. You can be sure about that.
I do understand how loneliness can bother a person because I am also a victim of it. You mentioned that you have a few friends in your post. Why don't you meet them and chat with them through chatting apps frequently? You will feel much better and enjoy your friends' company . And you seem to be close to your mother. (since you came out to her. Sorry I'm wrong) Why don't you go to shopping centres, supermarkets or even parks with her? Have lunch/dinner with her in restaurants occasionally. Our family can be a great support and company for us. Also try to discover your interests and talents. Is it photography, singing , swimming, painting etc? try to indulge in them. Read books on your favourite interests. Search youtube videos about them. Join group classes and hopefully you will be able to make more friends there. This will able to take your mind away from loneliness. I really hope you will feel better soon.
Are there any LGBT clubs you can join? You may find someone there who is on the same boat and will definitely find sympathetic people there willingto lend an ear. I know it can be an isolating experience, even when we can talk about it, but there are people out there you can find and talk to. I'm not sure if we're allowed on EC to arrange meet-ups or not. If we could I guess it would be ppasible to chat to somoeone from here. Again, I'm not sure.
You have all of us mate! We've all been there and most are there still, you're not alone you're with us!! *hugggs*
You might have a look her and play a bit with hairstyle and clothing styles... it can be fun... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/159766-expressing-less-feminine.htmll You might think about counseling... with a gender therapist, someone from an lgbt center, or a counselor from school... saying you want some counseling... there might even be support groups... (*hug*)
