I was born female and first you have to understand i wish to use the term female because i know and still feel female. But i have moments where i suddenly feel male and i not only feel male but i want to express that in style. And also without being in control in a small sense it changes my personality to fit the more guy like feelings. Then i have times where i feel female note: I never go all out, because i'm not connected that strongly to my female side anyways. However i have them times where i'll be okay wearing pink or feeling more female inside, i just never been into makeup or dresses and i believe that's a natural part of who i am. The male side however i feel so different sometimes it's a light sense where i may just wanna dress more male looking and other times it's fully, i feel inside like i'm more of a male today. I honestly think if i wanted to i'd rap my boobs up and make myself look flat chested. However i fear being caught and i wouldn't do that, and never have it's just something i'd try, and wouldn't mind. I crave that strong male side of myself someday's i sit down and admit life would be much easier on me if i was born a male. However I've also said even if i was born a male i feel i'd have the same problems because my brain would then say i want a female side. So i don't feel or want to change my gender however i still feel like both on someday's, and one on other days. And someday's like i'm normal and wish for nothing. I was one time suggested to look at gender fluid but i feel like it didn't match completely and then i found the word androgynous and it is used for style and sometimes depending on the person i believe it can also be used for feeling both male and female. And, i feel that but i'm worried i have the wrong word for it and i just want to ask if that's the correct terms. Please understand i don't wish to label myself i just want to find something so i have something to relate to and connect to. I feel happy like this and i'm fine like this. I just wish i new for sure what i'm doing to myself.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/155543-not-female-not-male-but.html#2 I'd say take your time... and it can be fun to explore... with different hair and clothing styles... maybe sweaters one or two sizes bigger, and unisex or mens trousers.... (*hug*) by the way your username is beautiful...
The link you sent actually i could relate to but also i couldn't relate to because i never showed it that deeply inside. However, i completely understand something i didn't before because of that other girls post form the link you sent me. She explained how gender fluid is switching to being called boy or girl whenever they feel one or the other. And androgynous seems more comfortable with using and staying with what they where born as. She said something along them lines. And that's how i feel i'm fine with what i was born as but i still have both sides to me on someday's, and one or the other on other days but always feel what i was born with as my gender. I guess androgynous is the word ^.^ for both my feelings and style thank you for sending that link you don't know how much it helped me. :smilewave thanks because that post you sent to that dude with another link actually helped me to.
