Frequently I see this idea that some people have that someone who is transgender must fit in the exact description of the other gender's stereotype. It's one reason I am little afraid of coming out to people because they will say something like, "You don't seem like much of a boy too me." My mom has been sort of doing this to me even though usually she doesn't believe in this gender stereotyping. I worry when I do go see a gender therapist that they might think I am more non-binary just because not everything about me and my past is "masculine". It just seems weird that people have this idea when they don't necessarily hold this idea up to cisgender people. I don't want to have give up being able to wear eyeliner one day out of the year because it isn't "masculine" enough even though cisgender men can wear it. I don't like the fact that I keep doubting myself because I didn't just play with "boy" toys when I was a kid. It's just frustrating because I just want to make sure people realize I want to be seen as a man even if I do something a little feminine because if I was cis at most I would just be thought of as gay. :dry: Which I am partly anyway.
I never played with girl's toys when I was younger, heck anything but! It doesn't matter to me. In my heart I know I'm a girl and I know that nothing can change it. It doesn't matter what others think. My mom does the same thing to me about the stereotyping but in the end what does it matter? At the end of the day only we know who we are, nobody else can change that no matter what they think or say. And if someone has a problem with you doing something a little feminine from time to time, ask them what they would think if a cis-male they knew were doing it.
I hate this so much. Cis people get to be gender nonconforming and people don't tell them they aren't their gender anymore, but trans people have to fit perfectly into rigid gender roles and it sucks. I'm not really feminine OR masculine, as far as my personality and interests go I'm pretty androgynous, but I'm still a guy. Yet my mom thinks I'm actually nonbinary just because I'm not super masculine. I wish people would realize that gender roles don't mean anything.
Hmm... I'm a ham radio operator, a bagpiper, I've been working with electronics as a hobby since I was five , and my degree is in IT. As a kid, my favorite toy was lefties, and I actually built recognizable objects with them. I even built things in the garage with scraps of wood when my dad was out there woodworking. (one of the first things I built was a chair. ) I even made the CD/DVD rack that's in my living room when I was in shop class in junior high. Regardless of all that and what's between my legs, I still am NOT a guy.
I know that I'm cis, but I also encountered this with a friend of mine (who is a trans woman). Her Mom said she couldn't be a woman because she loves video games. I was all....what the fuck. Because here I am, a cis woman, who is the biggest gamer ever. And I play games aired toward 'guys' too. It's the stupidest thing ever. You don't have to feel like you need to give up your interests to be the gender you say you are. Ironically, I questioned being trans before and when I thought about the idea of being a guy, I panicked over all my interests (which aren't even THAT feminine). It's something I took for granted as a cis person with masculine interests and didn't understand the pressure until I started questioning myself.
The very first thing my mom told me when I came out to her was "Well, for a girl, you're kind of a hot mess." Like, oh, thanks Mom. I'm glad I can feel comfortable coming to you for support. "You're kind of messy, y'know." Like my sister WASN'T when she was my age? I'm probably cleaner then she was. "You don't really seem to care much about your looks." That's not even true. I've just always felt ugly as a guy no matter what I did, so I stopped caring. Once I can pass, trust me, I'll be VERY concerned with my looks. And yeah, I play video games. I'm super excited for Batman and Uncharted 4 next year. But I'd be lying if I said I also don't love girly stuff like fashion and baking and such. Exactly
That's pretty much the narration of when I came out to my mom only it was "You're kind of tall for a girl". :dry:
Yeah.. Society expects conformity more from trans people than cis people.. It's always the "if you're going to look like that, why not stay (your birth sex)?" comment. It's ridiculous and I say fuck them. I can dress as I damn feel like it.
