Pretty sure my gender identity is holding my dating life hostage T_T

So I have been single ~14 months, but have had a number of FWBs, lovers, one nighters, and general hook-ups this year (although none for about 6 months).

What else happened 6 months ago? I came out online as genderfluid on my dating profiles, and actually changed my markers on OKC about 2 months ago.

Before I came out, I was getting requests, dates, and 'sleepovers' as I called them, multiple times a week. And had some sort of meet up either as initial meet up or physical hook up at least once a week.

I definitely noticed a huge drop in interest when I added genderfluid to my profile, but at the time I had 2 regulars I was sleeping with casually, so it didn't bother me that much. When those 2 things ran dry (due to other things) I just figured someone else would come along. There was the occasional interest, but nothing worked out. I took a break for over 2 months, figuring my fishing hole had ran dry, so to speak.

When I re-opened my OKC account is when I saw I could change my genders and orientation (was bi, now pansexual), so I did. Since then, I have gotten maybe 5 first messages, 3 of them were nowhere near my area/ appropriate age range, and the other 2 I talked to and it just kinda dwindled and we never met up. At first I figured it was because I took casual sex off what I was looking for, and just want a relationship.

So a little over a week ago I joined ############, which is much more geared toward relationships and rarely used for hook ups. The anti-Tnd3r. lol Anyway, so far I have had one person message me back (after at least 15 sent), and no first messages. That one person is currently in a homeless shelter with no car, so yeah. : /

I was so SO happy to be able to really express myself openly, and was hoping to attract other bi/pan/gf/gq/andro etc people. I definitely prefer non-binary people over straight men and lesbians. But now, I feel like going back in the closet and just putting bisexual female on all my profiles until I start seeing someone, and mention/ explain the situation on like 2nd or 3rd date? Or even later? Is that lying? : /

Or, I'm also aware that I may have been subconsciously acting different since I came out. I do feel like I cut straight to the point, and if I'm not interested in someone, I tell them pretty quickly or don't reply at all, instead of at least chatting them up for a bit. This could either be because I am trying to be seen as more manly and/or I am so lonely/ thirsty that I feel it is more efficient to weed people out more harshly than I did before.

Anyone have any advice or stories about coming out or transitioning while actively looking for a romantic partner? I'm so stuck. :bang: