I realize this is a decision I have to make, but I thought I'd bounce my ideas off people here to see what might be less awkward. Basically I'm in the process of choosing a new name. Initially I was set upon the feminine version of my given name; I didn't really think at all about the decision to be honest, it was my go-to name, and being addressed as such online and wherever just felt natural. I did think about who in my life has that name, and there are only a couple people, one, a family member I've only met once, and the other, a family friend whom I see maybe once a year. I thought that was infrequent enough that having the same name wouldn't be too awkward, but my parents recently brought the whole situation up stating that it could get pretty weird, and that I should think about others in my decision (a resounding theme of the whole transition). The thing is, I'm a people-pleaser, and although it seems small, this sorta thing weighs heavily down on me. I do like the thought of choosing a different name, it's sorta exciting, but at the same time, it's just so unfamiliar, both to me and others: people always asking why you chose that name, etc. I feel like it may be even more awkward having to ask people to address me as a completely random name (although I know and respect all the trans people that do choose new names). So idk, what would any of you choose in this situation?
I would consider making the feminine version of the previous name a new middle name. This would allow you to use it or any nicknames that you've derived from it with close family and friends, while still maintaining a formal first name that is unique to you. I wouldn't choose to do away with it completely simply for the sake of others.
I did consider the middle name thing, but at the same time, my current middle name is, to most people, ethnically hard to place a gender on, so I thought I might keep it. But I agree with you, I don't want to do away with my birth name (or any variation) completely.
Switch them? Make your current middle name your first name and your first (chosen) name a middle name? Or go on those baby-name websites and check out if there are any alternatives to your first (chosen) name that you like? Like, Annie could be Annika, Annabelle, Annalise, Anna, Ana, etc.
Usually baby names are chosen by the parents, based on I don't know, intuition or something, with zero input from the recipient, so maybe ask them what you would have been called?... if that's an option. Alternatively, get close people to suggest something.
I took my former first name and kept it as a middle name. I did this because my dad's biggest hangup about my transition was that he chose my first name... and he used that as a sort of badge of honor. So, I think that there are some cases where compromise is important when it comes to choosing a name. I have been blessed with accepting parents, so I was able to ask them what I would have been named if I was born male. (Oddly enough, I had mostly settled on the name Bradley, and that is what they were going to name me, so that was a bit odd.) So, you could go this route if you have accepting parents. It could be weird having family members with the same name, or it could not be. I guess that really depends on how often you see those family members. It can be awkward having people address you by a new name, but over time t becomes second nature, and it becomes much less awkward. I would say "My name legally is Ashley, but I go by Brad or Bradley." Most people respected this, and did not ask questions. (Now that my name is legally changed, I don't have to worry about this as much.)
When I chose my new name l did a lot of soul searching. I am Choctaw, Cajon, German, and Irish. I thought a lot about my heritage and how my new name would reflect my ancestry and how I would honor my ancestors. I chose Rowena because it's ancestry is obscured, but there are ties that link it to both German and Druidic ties. Rose has Irish connotations. When you choose a new name let it reflect your inner personality and who you truly are on the inside. Remember a name tells a story of who you are. NEVER let anyone push you into a name you don't like. Be true to yourself.
I went the opposite route. I always hated my given first name, and liked my first middle name, Alex, so now I'm using that for my first name, then came up with my middle names. Jes for a friend, Audrey for my grandmother and a cousin on my mum's side who killed herself, and Lyon which was the maiden name of my grandmother on my dad's side. (My parents assigned me 3 middle names when I was born, so I guess I'm used to the number) Btw, I want to say I love Rowena, it's beautiful.
