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slightly awkward question about transitioning

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by CyberStar, Jan 6, 2015.

  1. CyberStar

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    I'm going to put this question really bluntly. How should (can) a 6'2" male go about transitioning to be seen as a woman?

    This might be a little confusing, but to put it this way, I am a transgender male that is 6'2" and very thin (118lbs last I checked), and I want to know about how to pass as a woman, even when being so extremely tall.

    This brings up one point, however: my behavior and mannerisms are predominantly male. Occasionally I might act a little more like a girl, and I practice my female voice in private, but it's nothing anyone would catch on to. So I suppose you could also rephrase the question as, How do I shake off my male identity and start acting and presenting myself as the woman that I really am inside (with special consideration to my height)?

    Does that make any sense?
     
  2. DoriaN

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    I think this is your first mistake.

    You really shouldn't have to act or change yourself to fit an ideal mold, you're you.

    Identity is very personal, I'm afraid no one can tell you what to do past anything superficial.
    You pass as much as you want to pass, but being stealth can be a different story.

    Having masculine qualities means nothing for being female.
    Also tall women exist, go ask them how they're women =\

    I mean, if you feel like a woman inside, but naturally behave differently, what exactly are you looking to change or accomplish?

    Do you want to convince others who you are or feel to be?
     
  3. CyberStar

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    To put it like this, I am a socially awkward person. I also feel the need for others approval. The problem is, this holds me back, because most of the time I feel like I am wearing a mask, so to speak. When I'm alone, that's when I act more like ME. I suppose part of what I'm asking is how to get the confidence to bring this out into the open. But, like I said, I'm socially awkward. I don't really have enough practice (either at acting feminine without overdoing it or being who I am without regard to what others think of me) to pull something like this off without looking flat-out stupid. (I need better social skills...) As for the height thing, I don't regard tall women as being any less feminine. But, being tall does make some complications. For instance, where am I supposed to find clothes? (I can barely find anything now, because most clothes (pants in particular) are too short. And most women's clothes are made for smaller sizes than would fit me.) And another point to consider: my "feminine touch" is pretty rusty. I want to develop this to bring all of the different aspects of me into harmony (so to speak), but I don't know how to develop it.

    PS: Please excuse the weirdness of my post. I told you it was an awkward question :wink: Or at least it is for a nerd like me.
     
  4. clockworkfox

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    This is true, but I understand what she's saying. We sort of naturally pick up mannerisms of people of our designated genders, and they can be tricky to shake. I imagine it can be just as tricky for a trans-woman to learn to walk with some sway in her hips as it is for me to try and, for example, just take up more space in general. From 1, being designated female and encouraged to take up less space and 2, being depressed for years and literally trying to take up no space at all, it took me ages to learn to sit with my legs uncrossed and lean back casually in chairs, two abilities I'd lost since my childhood, but which every guy I know seems to to have managed to retain.

    As for being tall - have you considered dresses? Maybe it's just me, but I think dresses and skirts are very flattering on tall girls, as standard lengths seem to end up as ideal mini-lengths, and I don't know, they make tall girls look like glorious amazons and I like that. Alternate plan - find the longest pants you can, and wear tall boots with them. I don't know how different stores run sizes, but I know many stores carry women's pants in three lengths - petite, regular, and long. I don't know how those actually fit, because I'm A, stupidly short, and B, not really too familiar with women's pants. But I imagine that pants labeled long are intended for someone taller than 5'5".

    As for developing your femininity, just embrace it. Yeah, it'll feel awkward if it's something you're not too used to giving in to. But embrace your natural feminine tendencies. On top of that, observe. Not in a creepy way or anything, but just people watch a bit. Take a few glances around you, see how women carry themselves. Practice social cues and mannerisms in private until they seem natural. Follow female bloggers, try their makeup tutorials (beginner tip: cheap cosmetics, quality brushes). Look around the internet for fashion tips for tall, slender girls. And while you're online, search online shops that cater to tall women. Shopping online is a miracle when your sizes aren't standard.

    Just take each new step as it seems natural for you. :slight_smile:
     
  5. Lazuri

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    Personally I find tall and slender girls to be very beautiful. Like somebody else said, dresses should be the best option here. Couple the dress with an underbust corset and it would give you some female curves and look drop dead gorgeous. Though tall women often have some issues such as the inabaility to wear high heels without getting even taller.

    As for the female behavour thing, I think the most important part is to nail the posture. Men have a natural posture with the shoulders forward in a kind of slouching posture while the ideal female posture is shoulders back, chest out and stomach in. Males also have slightly different elbows that are a bit further away from the body, so you might wanna turn your arms just slightly so that your elbows are closer to your body.

    When you get the posture down everything else kinda falls into place a little bit. It's easier to default into a female sitting position and it usually affects your walk a bit. You see, the main difference between a feminine and a masculine walk is that men keep their balance with their shoulders while women maintain balance with their hips while walking. If you gain a female posture by keeping your shoulders back, you're unable to maintain balance with your shoulders and a slight hip sway actually appears, which is good because if you try to just do the hip sway yourself it rarely come out good and it's easy to overdo it. It is however good to conciously try to overdo the hip sway motion until it becomes muscle memory, that way the natural hip sway you might achieve becomes more noticeable.

    As you might be able to tell I've been working on my walk lately. I found that a good way of learning it was to carefully watch the animations of female characters when playing video games. That way I don't have to stare at a woman's ass to try and analyze her hip sway when I'm in town.
     
  6. jay777

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    You might just try to embrace your female side and let it shine through...
    expressing emotions...
    just feeling natural...
    this way you are not acting, but are you, and it shines through.
    Key here, also with makeup and clothing, is not to overdo it. If started in moderation, it should come naturally, and can be built upon.

    You might have a look at how colours and cuts affect how proportions are perceived.

    Tall Women Fashion - Dress Sexy

    Tips on Dressing for Tall Women - The Tall Girl's Guide to Fashion

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/159891-how-look-more-feminine.html#7

    You might think about shopping in second hand stores... that way you could start out slow and try different styles and sizes... often clothing is not sorted by gender, so it might be easier to shop...

    When it comes to makeup, you might start with trimming the eyebrows...

    eyebrows

    and a bit of unobtrusive lipgloss or lipstick...
    I'd recommend organic stuff... having it on your lips for quite some time... prefering quality from quantity..


    (*hug*)
     
    #6 jay777, Jan 7, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2015