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I have no idea whats going on. Please help.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by skylarNY, Jan 7, 2015.

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  1. skylarNY

    skylarNY
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
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    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I know this is a dumb thing to say, but I don't feel like I'm "trans enough". I think I want to transition, because I like how I look when I look really masculine, but there's not always dysphoria. I always present as male because thats how I'm comfortable. When I know I look male, when I wear blazers and dress nice, I feel awesome. Do I just feel less dysphoria because I look how I want to look? It makes sense that it would go away in that case, right?

    Im just really confused because a month ago, I felt male a good 90 - 95% of the time, but now I feel like I'm not feeling as male anymore. And that worries me because I see myself as male right now and in the future, but I don't feel male all the time. It makes me feel guilty and stupid because what if i'm loading all of this on myself and worrying so much (i have horrible anxiety) when its just a phase, or some delusion.

    I guess I feel male most of the time, but having a higher voice and curves and breasts and stuff remind me that I have a "female" body and then it kind of instantly remind me im not a boy and i start feeling female, but it doesn't feel right. It also doesnt feel right being male all the time. But genderqueer or agender or bigender doesnt really feel right with me either. I dont think I'm genderfluid because I dont really switch genders.

    I just feel confused. I feel like I accidentally convinced myself I'm trans when I'm really not, even though theres things from my past that would prove otherwise. I dont know anymore.

    Also, is it possible to feel less dysphoria or feel a little more like a girl when im on my period? Cause a few weeks ago I don't recall being this confused about everything. I could have been, but I'm not entirely sure. Unless I really did lie to myself about being trans without even realizing. Which I hope is not the case because that seems so wrong and shitty and just insane.

    I know I went all over the place with this, I'm really sorry.
    I just really need some help here. Please.
     
    #1 skylarNY, Jan 7, 2015
  2. MsEmmzy

    MsEmmzy
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2014
    Messages:
    249
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    Location:
    BC, Canada
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's alright, we're here to help! :slight_smile:

    As for your issue, I get this too. Being trans doesn't mean you will always feel 100% like a man 100% of the time. That's impossible, even for cis-males.

    You say you're more comfortable in male clothing. you say that your past shows that you're more masculine. You say you can only see yourself as being male in the future. Imo, based off that, you're trans. No question for me.

    Hopefully I've helped a little. (*hug*)
     
    #2 MsEmmzy, Jan 7, 2015
  3. CyberStar

    CyberStar
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The Death Star
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    I'd have to agree with MsEmmzy. Question is, what flavor of trans?
     
    #3 CyberStar, Jan 7, 2015
  4. jay777

    jay777
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    When having your period, your hormones and emotions change a bit... its completely all right...

    You don't have to feel male all the time...

    you might have a look at this:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-gender-identity-expression/149111-am-i-ftm.html#4

    and this:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...9807-figuring-out-my-gender-identity-s.html#4

    Its a lot of information... I'd say take your time...

    ask questions... people here will try to support you...

    there is no such thing as trans enough... its a spectrum, and its your choice where you feel comfortable...


    (*hug*)
     
    #4 jay777, Jan 8, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2015
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