My Dysphoria seems to get worse each day. Each day it gets harder to see the poorly hidden bumps on my chest that shouldn't be there, having to wear something to compress those hellacious bumps, and just not having the parts and physical characteristics I feel like I should have. If this feeling continues, I'm going to have to come out because it's just so hard to keep to myself. I'm easily persuaded by my self doubt, though. It beats me down every time. I would have come out already to my parents if the thought that I will go into another suppressive phase was absent. I'm scared that if I come out my mind will suddenly switch to being fine with how I am biologically even though I know I will only feel better if I go on hormones and get top surgery. I don't know where that doubt is coming from. I don't know what my problem is. I thought about coming out today because an opportunity arose. I thought it might be too much though for my mom the way I would have done it. We were watching tv and my dad came in the room and our dog was following him (our dog is a boy too). My mom said we were having "girl time" and all boys are not allowed (as a joke). I almost got up and left the room just to get this out into the open. I'm tired of hiding a part of myself. I would feel better starting my transition process as early as possible. My subconscious is screaming to let it out. It's time to start gender therapy. I'm just not sure how it's going to play out. My mom is seeing a therapist right now and I don't know if my parents would want to start me on therapy at the same time. My mom is just going for a sort of "check up" and didn't even tell me she was seeing a therapist at first, which pissed me off because she abandoned my trust and I actually need to see someone (which I know she had no way of knowing, so I can't be mad at her for that). How can I bring the subject to my parent's that I don't want to be my biological sex? I'm not sure I want to throw them into "Hey guys, this is the first time we've seriously talked about this: SURPRISE! I'm trans!" How do I ease them into it? Is there even such a thing? My mom is so sensitive I know she'll cry, but it will make me feel so invalid and like I'm ruining all her hopes and dreams. I honestly don't know if I can deal with other's thoughts and feelings about my being trans if they're not positive.:help:
You might think about coming out in a letter. Here are a few resources: I'm kind of https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110227120037AAXhJgY You might add that you love them... and that this is only a part of your personality, otherwise you're still the same... and you might say you will be like your male twin brother... the gender may change, but not yourself... you further might say you want counseling... with a gender therapist, to help you and to make sure you make the right decisions... here are some further thoughts, a gender therapist should help you there finding out what you want: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anony.../147192-transitioning-where-do-i-start.html#4 (*hug*)
Thank you! My dysphoria is killing me at the moment and this is one less thing to worry about. I've actually drafted a couple letters, but I could never get the exact words I wanted or the courage to leave the letter out. I think I'm going to do it though, very soon.
You might have a look at the second link, its a letter... and if you want, you might post your version here, asking for input from others. Otherwise, if you have a feeling your letter is good, that should be enough (*hug*)
I read through the letter briefly and got some key things from it. I think I will post a letter later this week. That's a really great idea. I just need to be more confident and leave the letter out when the time comes.
