I was heading off to the city with a few of my friends, I was wearing my shorts and dad noticed that I hadn't shaved my legs in a while. He said to me, "You know, people aren't going to see you as a boy. They're going to see you as most likely a lesbian with hairy legs." ..? I said to him "How would someone I have never met possibly know?" and I got "People make a judgement of someone within 10 seconds of meeting them, it's entirely possible they pick up on the fact that you're a girl." in response. He was actually with me the one time I went into the male change rooms and no one said anything. What's the deal? He's always been supportive of me, I don't know what's making him say things like this... Just realised I posted this in the wrong section... shit... How do I delete it?
I don't think he was trying to be mean or unsupportive. Sometimes people just say things. I don't think it's a cause of worry, probably just trying to look out for you in a slightly misguided fasion.
He's probably just worried about you, and what he said came off as a little unsupportive.. Honestly from your pictures, I'd say you pass without any problems.
You shave your legs why ?! Your info says, that you are a bi male and you look just normal guy in your avatar. So, why would you want to shave you legs, I still don´t understand. And about your dad, I wouldn´t take it too serious. I remember my dad being very protective over me and sometimes stupid imo.....dads usually are straight men with weird sense of humor you know! But if you are hurt, just say it to your dad.
I think it sounded more malicious than it was meant to be, especially if he's been supportive so far.
I shave my legs too. It's because body hair is nasty, and guys can be clean too. When T gives me more body hair I'm still gonna shave.
I think the point JerryX was trying to make was that most guys don't shave their legs. Obviously some do, but it's more an exception than the rule...
Yeah bro, shave, don't shave. There's no norm any more. Do what makes you feel like yourself. And you know my opinion on your looks. Leg hair is pretty itchy in the summer, especially when its hot. My dad is 100% straight and shaves when the shorts come out. I've never cared to shave my legs. Yeah, shallow people can come to a judgement about someone in 15 seconds or less. SO WHAT, SO WHAT, SO WHAT. You still be who you are. You changing yourself for those shallow people isn't going to make you feel good about yourself. Those shallow people will just find some other trait they don't like to judge you on.
Thanks everyone for the responses. I forgot to mention that I did say that it hurt my feelings, but I can't really remember how he reacted. He's said some stuff like this before, and I kinda just brushed it off, but this... I've been dwelling on it. Ugh..
I would guess, "passing" is very important to you and causes you anxiety without any help from your dad... That could be one reason why this hurt your feelings when other things might not. In his own weird, clumsy way, he might think he's helping. If he is generally supportive, then talk to him about times he crosses your boundaries like this. He may not know it bugs you, and trust me, sitting around quiet and moody does not indicate how you feel to your parents (or significant other.) You just look like every other moody teenager in the world. The other thing, and I guess this will be hard, I would bet your dad is having a hard time seeing his little girl growing into a handsome young man.
...but remember keep your calm and don´t insult him. He´s your one and only dad after all, so don´t get angry. Just be calm and gentle be saying, that ...hey dad, this time you hurt my feelings, I´m not a girl (for example). My own dad was always very nice and not violent in any level, so it was me, who had to remember calm down
Well in the spirit of all things manly manliness, "man up" (totally being a smartass and trying to encourage you in my own wierd way)
Sounds like he's just snapping...thats so mean though..you look like and are a guy ..ive seen your avatar before and never thought you were a girl..im not being modest either..
Take it as a compliment. Your dad clearly thought you were tough enough to handle it. The male world often includes superficially giving each other a hard time. Think play-fighting as a way of bonding. Quick reply: "I was going to shave, but all your razors had bum fluff on them. No thanks!":icon_wink
LOL (yes I actually snorted from that quick reply.) I was just thinking about this on the way to my first LGBT meetup. Remembering back to high school and bullying. While I never was bullied in high school, we did haze/bully a freshman who was trying to hang with our clique. Now, I think, part of me liked this kid, he was cute. Don't know if any mixed feelings may have caused any of that. But, on the other hand, he was an outside trying to get into our group of friends. A certain amount of "torment" is/was expected from your friends. Part of it was putting him through a "trial by fire" to accept him as part of the group. Now, I think the worst I ever did was stuff him in a locker (he was rather small, well, not for a freshman.) We did let him out after like 5 minutes. After the "trial by fire" so to speak, he was part of our tribe.
Normally I'm the one shit-stirring, and I can generally take comments like that from my dad. But I haven't been in the best frame of mind, so that's probably contributing to my annoyance towards his comment.