Help with disphoria

You might have a look at used clothing. That way you could get mens clothing, or unisex clothing, and say its your style.

Same for hairstyle. You could try ponytails, or hair clips.

You could try sweaters one or two sizes bigger.


(*hug*)

 

Yeah, used clothing is probably your best bet for getting clothes for cheaper. You can sometimes find some good stuff from thrift shops for a lot less than you'd find anywhere else.

I'm not really sure about binders except that I've read that homemade ones are dangerous.. If you can get an amazon gift card, you might be able to get one from there and then send it to a friend's house for delivery.

Hopefully I've helped at least a bit.. Good luck!

 

Though there is one kind of homemade binder I think would be safe. Some time ago somebody here posted a way to combine a sports bra with some rigid cloth using some basic sewing skills to make an alright binder for small chests.

Another thing you can do that won't cost you anything is to just adopt a masculine posture. Posture counts for a lot and if you change your posture it quite often changes the way you do everything like walking and sitting.

 

In thrift shops, clothing is often not sorted by gender.

If she says something, you could say its your style... you want to try it out... and that others do it, too.


(*hug*)

 

Next time you're out, look at both men and women and try to figure out how their posture changes what they do. You might for example notice how women keep balance with their hips--hence the hip sway--and pull themselves into each step while men keep balance with their shoulders and sort of fall into each step.

To me it feel like going from feminine to masculine posture and walk should be easier than vice versa because the masculine walk basically comes by sloppines and slouchy posture.

 

When you say your parents can't notice do you mean that you're concerned they might figure things out or ask questions or..? I'm just wondering because I'm in a similar situation with my mother. I don't think she would disown me or anything and I don't live with her but we're otherwise close and I'm not sure she would be the sort of super supportive parent (my coming out as asexual was met with difficulties and crossing the gender identity line is not something I'm ready for yet). But I'm wondering if it's like that or if it's much more serious.

That aside I have a few tips. I got my binder from Underworks. In particular I got this one here. I know you said having something delivered to the house is difficult but do you have any friends whose addresses you could have it sent to and then pick it up from them? Even if you did have it sent to the house the site doesn't scream "we sell binders for trans/genderfluid folks" because they sell plenty of ladies' shapewear and support garments as well as post-surgical garments (for all sorts of surgeries; my mom had to wear a compression garment when she had arm surgery, for example). If you have a small chest I am very certain this will do wonders for you. I have a very, very large chest (I'm not even sure the letter at this point but I overflow DD cups) and this product doesn't get me totally flat but it's pretty miraculous how much of a difference it makes given my size. It also lists it as a sports bra so even an invoice wouldn't say "yes this is a binder".

Thrift stores are definitely a good idea as others have pointed out for when you don't have much to spend. While I still lived with my mom I started building my more masculine wardrobe slowly. I started with little things like shoes and I've always been a big fan of men's t-shirts. I started buying men's shorts and men's jeans. When asked I would always say that I didn't like the way most women's clothing would fit my body and I could find more comfortable clothes in the men's section (this was not untrue but it had a dual purpose).

Because you are small-busted you could also experiment with layering clothes. I know some smaller people do this when they want a break from binding but still want to disguise their chests. For me I love t-shirts but sometimes they don't do me any favours because they don't look as masculine as I'd like. I've found a lot of success with cotton men's pullover hooded shirts I've gotten from Kohl's which have made me feel a lot more masculine, probably because they cling less and give me a different silhouette.

I also agree with trying to alter your posture and your mannerisms because even if it's not a visible difference according to clothing it can be a nice boost mentally. Also you could try searching out websites like this which are geared obviously toward FTMs but would naturally apply here as well given the discussion of changing your silhouette and picking good patterns/layers/etc.

I hope that helps!

 

im actually in the same position and its really frustrating. one of my fellow queer friends offered to buy me a binder and give it to me in school so maybe u could try that? or ive seen many tutorials on how to make binders. just whatever u do to bind, please be safe about it!! also you can use makeup to appear more masculine, ive seen sooo many tutorials on how to do it. for clothes, wearing things that look less feminine and maybe bigger shirts and stuff. good luck!!!

 

You might have a look here:
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/159635-breast-binder.html


(*hug*)