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Am I actually cis? Was it all just a phase?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by machine, Jan 18, 2015.

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  1. machine

    machine
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    For the past year I've identified as simultaneously androgynous and agender. I've always been more of a mix of the two (those two being male and female) and because of that I want to be considered a person more than a gender. I realize gender, like sexuality, is fluid and especially when you identify as androgynous because some days you feel more masculine and others more feminine. The reason I'm confused is recently I've been more feminine which despite being DFAB I've seldom felt feminine before. I didn't like being girly (and still don't) and now that I feel more like a girl it's weird. I can't tell if for the first time I'm leaning more on the girl side of androgynous, getting more comfortable with my body (though I still can't go out without trying to hide my chest and I loathe periods--though a common DFAB people problem I want mine gone more than anything and even want my body to be as genderless as possible), or if this was all just a phase. This is all happening right while I'm realizing I want to be in some sort of more than platonic but not necessarily romantic/sexual relationship with a girl (I consider myself bi-curious in the most literal sense since I want to experience a relationship like that with both men and women but more recently have been interested in that sense with women. I'm also aro/ace so I don't feel attraction towards anyone but I still want a relationship in a sense.)

    I just want some input on what this might and if knowing I feel like this makes me sound more cis than genderqueer because if I'm really not genderqueer I want to stop mislabeling myself as one. (I fear I've just been caught up in the whole tumblr "let's be a different gender because being cis is boring and problematic" thing and haven't realized until now. I doubt that's the case but still...) I really don't want to think of the way I've felt this past year and the way I felt occasionally when I was little was a phase but this has been eating away at me for a while. :help:
     
    #1 machine, Jan 18, 2015
  2. Nick07

    Nick07
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    What about starting with telling yourself that you don't need any label. The only thing left then would be what life you want to live. What does make you happy, what choices do you want to make?

    Don't think "If I like this it means I am..." or "I am not supposed to like that, because that would mean I am not who I thought I was"

    Get rid of the need to have a label. Things will be easier then.
     
    #2 Nick07, Jan 19, 2015
  3. crazycat

    crazycat
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    Gender can change and even if later you find you are cis and are comfortable as a cis woman it doesn't make the feelings you have now any less valid. You seem like you're still very young so you are still learning who you are, hell even people in their thirties don't always have a full grasp of who they are. I don't think you are just caught up in a trend, people don't subject themselves to harassment and self doubt just for the sake of a tend. Tumblr might have just made you more aware of other gender identities and might have just made you more aware of your own thoughts and feelings about your gender.
     
    #3 crazycat, Jan 19, 2015
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