I'm certain there are more people than me with this problem. After over 5 years of not dressing like a man I tried to take out what I used to wear and make a very casual outfit. Looking in the mirror I wanted to cry. I thought that 5 years would make me look at least a little older. Well I've gone from a 7 year old boy to 12 year old metalhead (I have straight hair past my shoulders). ...which I'm not cutting off, been there, done that. It makes me look even younger as it really brings out my round face. Overwhelming disphoria, this is never going to make me pass. I feel so stupid. Anyone that have actually found a solution of this problem? To top it of I'm also short and often get picked on because of it.
Aww, don't feel stupid I know that's easy to say, but nobody should feel stupid for trying to be themselves. Just because you don't look as masculine as you'd like, it does not make your feelings of masculinity less valid! You are just unlucky that you are shorter and more feminine than you'd like. Not stupid. Accept that you are unlucky, but do not accept that there is nothing you can do about it! There are always ways to get what you want. The things we want rarely come easily, unfortunately, but that doesn't mean we can't find ways around the problem! First, perhaps check out this website. It's a FtM guide to completely passing as male from the moment a stranger looks at you. From tailoring your silhouette, to exuding masculine body language, to tips on where to buy clothes, to what hair style to use for particularly feminine faces, it covers it all. I would read every word if I were you, there are so many tips scattered throughout! It assumes the reader is on the shorter side. There are no tips for voice training though. I did find an interesting site for voice-training that mentioned that pitch is not as important as resonance, but I can't remember where I read it... But there are great sites out there for that too!
I'll try and think of the word unlucky instead next time and hope it'll help me feel less worthless... I've read that guide so many times, but it's been a few years so I was actually refreshing my memory today. However I don't personally like some of the suggestions there, even if it's true. I think the writer is taller but it gives lots of suggestions for shorter people though. Sadly most doesn't work very well on me, or it's very far from my personal style and makes me feel uncomfortable. Please send me the link if you find it! I've heard of such a guide or site before but never actually found a link. I'm lucky enough to not have the most girly voice, but quite androgynous. But it depends on my mood, mostly how confident I am. If I'm insecure and scared I have the tiniest of voices, but if I'm feeling confident I have a much deeper voice. My every day voice is a mix. I would like to practice the deeper part more, maybe it'll help me pass no matter how young I'll look...
Resonance is more important. The average male voice is actually only about half an octave deeper than the average female voice and an average voice has a range of about two octaves in each direction so the pitch of an oppositely gendered voice is totally within the range of just about anybody. Resonance is harder since it involves using muscles you've never used before. It's also more difficult to increase resonance rather than to decrease it the way MtF transgenders have to.
I don't have a clue how to increase resonance but I actually recall watching a video of it once, so I know how it's supposed to sound. I'll have to try and experiment. ---------- Post added 20th Jan 2015 at 12:02 AM ---------- I will look, thank you :3 I'm generally a smart shopper and have shopped mainly second hand for most of my life. However finding good looking pants in my size seem to be impossible so there's that.
Unfortunately resonance is tricky on FtM because the resonation chamber is bigger in a man which causes the resonation. It's easier to use muscles to contrict it for a MtF than it is to try and make it bigger like FtM transgenders need to.
Hey, you know what I say? Better to look like a little boy than not like a boy at all. I'm short too, only 5'0, and I hate it. But if you decide to go on hormones in the future, your voice and even your face will change and become more masculine, which will make you appear as male regardless of your size. Also, not to toot my own horn, but long haired femboys are sexy.
When i first started working as male, I had the Ohio workers safety administration called on me because a customer thought that I was an underage worker. It was pretty embarrassing. This did make me realize that I needed to look into my style some, and try to not look like a 12 year old. Singing in he lower range helped me to lower my voice a lot before I started on T. Also,if you have a longer,more feminine face, bangs can help even that out some. They helped me a ton with passing.
Yeah I got that same thought later on, I guess it could have been worse. Back in the days I got confused as a mtf, I'm not sure if I'm going to take that as a compliment or not? If I converted right I'm 5'2, so I feel your pain. I live in platforms, I'm so glad those things exist. And some is easy to cover up if you don't want people to realize you're trying to seem taller. Yes, we'll see what will happen. Or if I'll even get permitted to go on hormones, really worried I'm not gonna be "accepted" as transgender if seeing a specialist... ---------- Post added 22nd Jan 2015 at 11:09 PM ---------- Do you have any good suggestions for what's definately not 12 year old boy clothing? Sadly bangs just do the opposite, my face is very round and framing it will just make it worse. I've had alot of hairstyles, and just straight, long hair is oddly enough the most masculine style on me.
I have looked younger than my age even before I tried to pass of as male and to be honest my height only helps a little. I kind of gotten use to reassuring people of my age. If you don't mind dressing a little less casual (peacoats, sport jackets/blazers, knit sweaters, button-up shirts, dark jeans especially a pair of black jeans, khakis, etc.) you can look a bit older. Though I realize this might not be your style.
I feel confident enough in myself knowing that I look like a little boy. Is that not a better result than looking like a girl? I'll say, I want to have a chiseled face with cheekbones you could cut yourself on, along with the stubble and broad shoulders, but there's nothing I can do about it. There are men who are short, who do have round faces and who just genuinely look younger for their age. Don't get yourself down about it mate, just be confident in who you are and who you want to be.
