Hey! So I've not posted on this forum other than in the Welcome Lounge...and I'm unsure how to put what I'm feeling down into words. (Firstly, I hope this is in the right section..). So I've been in a relationship for the last 6 months and I'm literally happier than I have ever been, there is nothing about this girl that I don't love. The only issue is coming from my side, and its my ability to let her do anything to me during sex. I feel like my gender identity is 100% solid and nothing could dispute that...but I can't seem to just get past this barrier in our physical relationship. It feels as though if I let her do anything to me, then I'm allowing myself to be seen as female and that's just the worst. I mean, its not caused any issues between us at all and she's extremely understanding but I'd really like for us both to be able to give and take in all aspects of our relationship. Anyone been here before and know how to move forward? Mucho love, Harry xx
I know this feeling, and this is why no one's ever touching "down there". If someone touched me there I'd probably scream and throw them off me.. No matter what anyone says, it's just not happening. There are ways to pleasure your partner without using those parts. Like, strap-ons.. Doing oral sex etc. on them (giving not receiving)
You could have a look at devices called magic wand. There are quite a few devices of this category. There are battery powered ones called smart wand. I have to say at your own risk . They are really powerful. Look up a few customer experiences. If they are too powerful, a piece of cloth can be used in between. Your mind is free for fantasies meanwhile. Quite a few people use them when being together.
I'm gonna reply to this again just to say, "Magic Wand" is a vibrator. Which I'd personally never touch. It's still doing things to that area.
This stuff is beyond anything you tried, probably. It is originally a muscle massager and designed to go into a whole area.. For me personally it allows for stimulation which does not let me concentrate on certain parts. Its a joyful feeling for a whole area, setting the mind free for fantasies . But to each their own. I can only describe my experience.
I'm there everytime I have sex with someone. You said she is very understanding, so perhaps you both could try to explore other practices that don't involve the "no-go areas". Sex is much more than just penetration and so on. Check a few books about sex for couples, nevermind they are for heteros : You can always find tips and tricks there. Being sensual and open to fantasies is a huge help. Also feel free to explore : Positions, practices, fetishes... It can be a lot of fun going together to a sex shop, and check whatever stuff you might find interesting, or you want to try. About the Hitachi... You can use it on her... Or yourself, and this shouldn't invalidate your gender identity. Have you heard about Buck Angel? When you take a look at him with his clothes on, you can't deny he is a man, right? (He is also very lucky, he's got zero bottom dysphoria, not everyone feels like him). Take your time and do what it feels good. Sex is about pleasure, not approval. PS: If your post is because you've got this feeling "it's not enough for her", remember almost all males think exactly the same. You can ask her directly, but if she tells you "it's ok", then you need to be aware it might be your own insecurity.
