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Basicly my story

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by littlesami, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. littlesami

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    North of France
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi guys.
    I've just arrived here and i have a good reason to be here, i guess. A few month ago, i read this fantastic book, named 'Two boys kissing' by David Levithan. And in the book one of the caracter is a transgender, female to male, gay too. Reading the book opened my eyes, pretty much.
    Of course, i had hints before. During a lot of my childhood, i wanted to be a boy. But i said it like it was no big deal. And i don't remember how my mom used to react but that's not the thing. I played with boys, didn't like dresses, and i wore a lot of my bro's clothes, which were too small for him. Knowing all this, i was just said that i was a tomboy, influenced by my bro. Years passed, and i guess i just tried to fit in, talking with girl, trying to dress better.
    But those past two or three years, a lot have been on my mind. Thanks to my bestfriend (who bought me the book) i opened my mind and discovered life, acceptance and things like that. I started to go back to my tomboy period, saying i was the third gender. I couldn't be more right, i guess.
    Anyhow, being on Tumblr widen my mind even more, finding out about all the sexualities and all the genders too. I started to love gays. I was attracted by gays, i watch gay movies, and everything. I didn't try to read anything throught it, but i think it was like a first step. Reading the book was the second one.
    I started to talk about it with my bestfriend and another close friend, saying how life was unfair, how i didn't want my big boobs (i do hate them) and like i wanted to be that guy. I figured it out like that.
    Now, i know what i am, pretty much, and my closest friends too, which is really good, i think.
    But i'm still not sure, like about starting the process. What if i'm wrong?
    So i'm worried and a bit lost, but i think i'm a guy...

    Thanks for reading
     
  2. SkyColours38

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Oxford, UK/Putney VT, USA
    Sounds pretty similar to my experiences, especially with all the helpful stuff on Tumblr. One really good blog is The Transgender Teen's Survival Guide, in case you don't already know about them. They give support and advice on all sorts of stuff related to being trans/non-binary/whatever.
    You can consider your identity for as long as you want, you don't have to be 100% sure of every aspect of it all the time, but it does sound like you're pretty certain. As for the boobs thing, do you have a binder? I just got a really effective one last week and I've already been feeling better.

    Also these guys are good for transition advice, if you want it: The Art of Transliness
     
  3. jay777

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2014
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    You might have a look at this:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/167401-ftm-help-am-i-trans.html#5

    Please remember this is a spectrum, its up to you where you feel comfortable.
    And gender identity and gender expression are different things.

    You might play a bit with hairstyle and clothing style... sweaters one or two sizes bigger, unisex or womens jeans, etc... what you feel comfortable with... there are threads on ftm clothing...
    it can be really fun...

    You might look up further threads...

    I'd say go with your feeling...
    go with your feeling of joy...

    You might also for example talk to a gender therapist or someone from an lgbt center, if that's what you want... saying you want some counseling...

    You might look for support groups, maybe in your local lgbt center...

    and build some community on EC, after10 postings you can chat with others via wall messages, after 14 days you can apply for full membership and join the chat...
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/164130-other-trans-friends.html
     
  4. littlesami

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages:
    42
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    Location:
    North of France
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Skycolours, thanks for the sites and well, i don't have a binder, and the thing is i can't have it until next year, cause i'm living with my mom, who doesn't know, and i don't have a card so i can't buy it online... I just can't wait to have it, i admit it.
    Jay, the thing is that i've never had really feminin clothes. I love sweaters and tee-shirts and stuff like that. So my bestfriend told me that it wasn't really obvious that i had boobs, cause i wear large things. I still feel unconfortable with it. But i saw a lot of picture of chest post-op, and the results are so much highier than i expected, i do hope one day i'll be like that too.
    I'm not sure we have a LGBT center around here... I guess there are some in France, i'll do research but i'm very dependant on my mother, so i can't really go anywhere without her knowing so...
    Anyway, that's very sweet, all you're saying, coming here was really a good idea. Thanks a lot