So I am out as a lesbian. I've been a woman that loves women for as long as i can remember. I like to dress and live like a woman, but in the bedroom i prefer to be a man. It is easier for me to relate to men sometimes. Is this not normal? And i guess what I'm asking is what does this make me? I am kind of hesitant to come out to anyone, except my fiance about this and she completely understands and accepts me. Sometimes i see myself more as a guy than i do a woman. But i am too afraid to actually dress and live like a male because of my job and the life that i have already set up for myself. Comments/Advice?
Sexual preferences don't determine your gender, so I don't think that really has any effect on it. Do you feel uncomfortable being female at all?
Acm... i do feel comfortable being female but i also feel comfortable being male. i guess i could go both ways. I don't know.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...9807-figuring-out-my-gender-identity-s.html#4 A few links might not tell you much... maybe the link for androgynous people does... You might play a bit with hairstyle and clothing style... sweaters one or two sizes bigger, unisex or mens jeans, etc... what you feel comfortable with... there are threads on ftm clothing... it can be really fun... You might have a look at the next lgbt center near you... there might be events and courses there, so you could meet a few lgbt people... there might even be support groups... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...4048-how-find-other-androgynous-people.html#6 and you might build some community on EC, after10 postings you can chat with others via wall messages, after 14 days you can apply for full membership and join the chat... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/164130-other-trans-friends.html I'd say take your time... go with a feeling of joy... hugs
jay 777 thanks for the advice. i have dressed in male clothing before. honestly sometimes i think guys have more comfortable clothing these days =). I did read some of those articles and old threads. At this point i'm not sure if i can officially label myself anything. I'm more or less just trying to understand what my feelings lean towards. Those articles do seem to help.
I'd say try to play a bit with styles... second hand stores might be a good source... Take the time you need... you might try to look up a few more things, meet some people... you might have a feeling more and more is revealed... and, as said, I'd go with a feeling of joy... and, well, know you're not the only one hugs
You seem a lot like the agender part of me. I also relate to guys more and usually feel more like one. But overall, in my case, gender isn't something very clear to me. Sometimes I wish I were seen as a guy by other people, or referred to as one. It'd be a nice change of pace. But mentally I don't associate myself with gender much. I'm fine with people calling me a girl, unless I'm just plain crabby at the moment. I just like to go with what feels natural and not worry too much about my gender complications... I might reccommend reading gender-related threads on EC that discuss various gender identities. It could be helpful to become more familiar with them and read about other people's experiences with their gender.
