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How to get other drag queens to stop calling me a "bio queen"

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by CyanChachki, Feb 3, 2015.

  1. CyanChachki

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    I understand that there's such thing as a bio queen, which is a biological woman who preforms as a drag queen. This label is suiting for a cis female but not for someone like me, who is transitioning. When I first started out, I had to be categorized as a bio queen because I wasn't transitioning yet. Now that I am, I'm categorized as drag queen but the other queens continue to call me bio queen.

    I absolutely hate it and no matter how much I reason with them, they act as if they can't understand why. I got a recent comment from someone on my FB page saying that it shouldn't matter because I haven't had surgery yet and therefore I should be known as bio. It makes me feel very uncomfortable because I am not a woman, I am a man and it hurts because I feel that if it where anyone else, say if I weren't doing drag, they would use the proper pronouns and accept me for who I am. I get that the drag world can be vicious but I didn't think that the other queens would stoop this low. Call me fat, call me stupid, I can brush that off easily because I am fat and a little ditsy but I'm not a woman and I'm not a bio queen.

    I think the worst is the comment I got about how it's not fair for me to be in any competition and that I shouldn't be on stage because I'm "she's a biological woman and even after the transitioning, I would still know how to be a woman". I'm not sure how to stop these things from happening or how I could act on them because I know good and well that if I swear at them and tell it like it is, people are going to be adding words like "bitch" or "asshole" to my name.
     
  2. Michael

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    I'm not familiar with the drag queen stuff, but you shouldn't dismiss that comment, I mean... There is somehow an advantage there, and it's normal that the other drags might feel that way about you.

    I guess it depends on the set of rules that they've got on that particular show/contest. If you don't agree with their rules, then don't join the show/contest, and look for another one.

    About what others think of you and what they say on the social media... Look, you can't go through the world to shut up everybody, so... If you don't like what they say, just ignore them.

    You are your own master of your time and resources after all. Social media is a tool, not a dragon to fight against.
     
  3. NingyoBroken

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    About the competition, you do not nessasarily have an advantage

    I'm transsexual, and find it hard to walk and move feminine if I tried, because I have naturally masculine behavior.

    Luckily being a v-Kei bandman involves dressing feminine, but not acting feminine. Haha

    Anyways, if I were you, I'd demand being referred to as male (when out of your drag queen persona, of course). Correct them every time they call you "bio-queen". Be firm about it.
     
    #3 NingyoBroken, Feb 3, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2015
  4. CyanChachki

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    There is no advantage. I have to learn how to do drag just like everyone else. I still don't know how to contour, I do not have this amazingly extravagant out there wardrobe, I have one wig and I alternate between my natural hair and that wig because the wig needs proper treatment. I have never worn heels in my life, I've never had to prepare for any kind of on stage preformance in my life. The only thing I remotely have an advantage of is my breasts and that came naturally to me. When I'm done transitioning, I won't have anything and will have to buy a breast plate and tuck just like everything else. I'm not going for the fishy look either. I am going for the Milk Queen/Vivacious/Sharon Needles look.

    The rules are that once you're started on hormones, you can be in with the Drag Queens/Kings and that's what I'm doing and we just got drag night at our gay bar so I'm attending. No, I'm not as high up there as the rest of them because I just started but those are the rules and I am following them correctly.


    I'm not asking every single person to shut up and mind their own business. I'm well aware that I'm going to face a lot of hate in the future. My question is how to get the local drag queens to stop with this bio queen stuff because if I weren't a drag queen, they would be using the right pronouns and supporting me through my journey. I'm not hoping or looking for any special treatment, I am not going to pretend that I know everything about being a female because I really don't The majority of my life I have been wearing gender neutral or mens clothes with no make up. I haven't tried being more feminine because that's not who I am. I'll more than likely be more campy in drag because of this.
     
  5. Michael

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    Ok, thanks for the information, I'm unfamiliar with drags and their world, even if I kind of like Rocky, but everyone knows Rocky...

    It depends on how well you pass as a man then. By repeating over and over again that you are a man, you can force them to fake some acceptance, and then whisper behind your back.

    They won't stop calling you bioqueen unless you pass... And most of them will never ever accept it, just because they won't accept you as a man when they know you are trans.

    So at the core you are still trying to get accepted as a man among men, it doesn't matter they drag, they are still your average men.

    You can talk to your closer drag friends, tell them about how you feel and see that they'll defend you in case someone tries to b*shit you in public, the question is if that would be enough for you to feel accepted.

    It's about passing, there is no other way to look at it.

    I wish you the best.
     
  6. CyanChachki

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    So what you're saying is that I have to butch myself up and pass in their eyes in order to be accepted otherwise, I won't be accepted at all?

    The only other drag queen I know is the one who runs everything. I don't talk to him much but he does have a lot of experience so I guess I could run a few things by him. Thank you in advance.
     
  7. Just Jess

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    You are really not the problem here. The problem is, they don't have any way of knowing how you are feeling. It is disappointing they don't ask. But even if they did, could you put in words how you feel? I like to think I can. But when I try it takes a while. Plus other people that are a little earlier on and more insecure will read what I say and feel as though their experience should match mine. "Draining dread and despair" usually does an okay job.

    But again, they haven't even made an effort. They have a cute turn of phrase. They are comfortable with how they view you. They won't change.

    So unless you can think up better ones, as far as I can tell your options are to either let out how much it bothers you - don't expect or wait for understanding or feel silly, or stop if they give you a hard time, really just wear your heart on your sleeve.

    Or find a better community. There are other, and from where I sit better, drag scenes. I know how that sounds. When I did Rocky in my 20s, I was close to a lot of people. Like a second family. Honestly without getting into my drama a first family. But when people change, or you change, sometimes other things have to change too.

    So tldr, you can't make them change. If you can get them to understand, they might. If they understand and still don't, is their accepting you worth it? Are their opinions?
     
  8. CyanChachki

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    I was just informed through messaging (on here) that a lot of drag queens use the female pronouns and that that's what they're probably doing with me. The comments on my page, I suppose it's just like anyone getting hate.. you have to ignore it. I proposed a youtube Q&A ( That I won't be posting here) but for those to watch so that they understand. I have a lot to think about and consider because of this. Maybe instead of screaming it out, maybe I can sit down with them, get a group gathered and just talk about it as adults, try to get some things sorted out. Answer questions that need answering and be done with it.

    I know that I'm going to face a lot of hate from fans of drag and I'll hopefully be moving to Vancouver soon which I hear has a better drag scene so hopefully when I move I at least make a few drag friends. After all this talk on this thread, I'm getting a bit of insight that it could just be the community that I live in and that it could just be a deep misunderstanding.