Right so in everyday life I can go around in my usual androgynous-looking clothing. No problem. However Black Tie events segregate the clothing you're supposed to wear according to 'male' and 'female' so harshly. I quite a shy person and I don't really want people to be staring at me or making comments. At the same time I'm excited to put on a shirt, tie and jacket and get out of the house. But afterwards I'm sure there'll be photos on Facebook and I guess I just feel a bit awkward knowing that.
I've been wearing suits and ties years before I even realized I was trans, and no one really raised an eyebrow at it. Some people even complimented my appearance. The most they'll make of it is probably the "butch lesbian" stereotype, so I guess it's understandable if you're nervous because you're not out yet. In the end, just wear whatever will make you feel comfortable.
there is definitely androgynous black tie apparel for women, and it's been around longer than we've been alive: Black Tie Guide | Supplemental: Women's Tuxedos & Tailcoats
I suppose the thing is that I'm not really 'butch'. I'm pretty stereotypically girly in terms of everything except what I want to wear. This means that even my friends think it's a bit weird that I want to dress the way I do, and have commented on it. Which makes me end up doubting myself. I guess they think I'm shy and don't really know what to buy for myself (which can be true sometimes lol).
