So I have the privilege of living in a small town in Idaho. It's not a BAD town.....but everyone here ( aiside from a few people, my dad included) is very anti LGBT. Even Idaho's governor has been working to stop gay marriage, and not even secretly, half his victory speech was about it. The point is, I doubt anyone would be very acceptant if I decided to transition here. I don't even think most of them know what transgender means. I haven't even felt any desire to come out to annyone, even my parents. I just don't see a point to it, if I'm unable to start transitioning. I don't think I could get my parents to move either, they have nice steady jobs and they are divorced so they would both have to move and then both their partners would have to move.... I just don't know what to do. I know it's best to transition as early as possible, but I just dont think I can. Sorry for grammar and spelling errors, I'm on my phone so know one can see this on my history.
Hey SuperFrog, I'm sorry you're feeling so isolated. When you don't have anyone you can talk to about something as integral to who you are as gender it can be really difficult, but I'm glad you're reaching out on here (*hug*) Out of curiosity are there any LGBT+ centers in your town? (if not do you have a car, and would be able to drive to the next town over to find one?) Reaching out for support in places that you know will be accepting is an important thing to do. And If you don't think it'd be safe to tell your parent's or you aren't ready to yet thats perfectly okay. Take your time. And maybe if there's not an LGBT+ center there might be a counselor you could see, You could search around online and see if there are any LGBT+ friendly ones in your area, they'd likely be able to offer you some guidance and act as another form of support. And if you're afraid to seek therapy because you fear your parents might find out or will ask why you are going, you can just say that you want someone to talk to about some personal things And even if you can't physically transition or even come out for a while you can do little things to help make life more bearable for yourself. Maybe buying a more androgynous deodorant like a plain Dove one, changing you phone background to something more feminine, buying a flavored chap-stick, or growing out your nails or your hair a bit, little things that wouldn't risk harm coming your way, but feminine enough that they will make you happier and feel more connected to your identity. And if you're ready you could maybe see if you want to start thinking about a female name you think is fitting, and calling yourself that online or in private/ your thoughts. Hang in there, and I hope things get better for you, Michael
