So, to sum up, I was diagnosed with depression almost 2 years ago, after letting it get worse and worse to the point that it was ridiculous. I was put on meds, and after a lot of adjustment (and not-so-successful therapy) a trip to the ER, I was told that I needed a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was able to adjust my meds, and after I'd figured out that I was transgender, I told her. She'd already told me that I might only be able to reduce the dosage of meds and never come off of them, and several visits after I came out to her, she told me that my depression just isn't going to resolve until the gender issues are resolved. I think that was my last appointment before I moved across the country. Changing insurance after the move because of getting a new job meant that I put off setting an appointment to get in to see a doctor to maintain my meds, and I sort of ran out probably 2 and a half months ago. I was just finally able to set an appointment for next week, and now I'm struggling to figure out whether to tell the new doctor. This is a huge part of my depression. A lot of when I feel my worst now (actually, almost all of it, really) relates back to the gender issues. So in that sense, I know that it could potentially be a good idea for my doctor to know, and maybe they'll have suggestions for therapy and/or a psychiatrist that could help with the mess that it my brain. However, coming out is terrifying (last time I came out, I threw up immediately afterwards from anxiety lol). And there's also the fact that I've read too many horror stories of doctors saying stuff like, "We don't treat people like you" when it comes to trans* people. I need to go back on meds; I am a complete disaster without them. So being refused medical care would obviously be bad. So, just thought I'd ask here and get some opinions. Is it better to tell them about my gender identity issues, or is it better just to leave it alone and wait?
You should definitely tell your doctor. Honesty is the most important thing for your doctor to have the information to help you. It is definitely scary, but you'll be so much better off if you can get the help you need. And if they are one of those doctors that don't acknowledge trans patients, the sooner you know the sooner you can find a new doctor. Would it help your anxiety if you brought along someone you trusted to the appointment?
For me it was important that my doctor knows so that I can try to medically transition somewhat and that when I decide to it doesn't come out of the blue. For a long time it was something I told my therapist but not my general doctor. It seemed like something that the therapist might be able to help with (and it contributes to my depression and anxiety which is why I see a therapist) but not so relevant with my regular doctor. The last time I had to change doctors I decided to go to an LGBT friendly clinic so I wouldn't have to worry about the reaction of the doctor. I don't think it is something you necessarily have to tell your new doctor on the first appointment, but especially since it contributes to your depression so much, you should probably bring it up at some point. Good luck
Thanks. You're probably right, and I know I should, I guess, but the anxiety is definitely there. I don't know if it would help to have someone I trust there, but that's not possible anyway, as I'm not actually out to anyone IRL (I've lived my whole life surrounded by transphobic people).
