So does anyone else ever feel this way? I feel very, very centered in my masculinity/ genderless-ness when I can't see my face (reflection, photo, ect.). Also when i'm hanging out with girls, or even see pictures of my female friends I feel extremely masculine. I pretty much always feel like a guy. But then at times when my more feminine personality shows (giving advice, venting about my feelings, or hear my voice go too high) I feel guilty like I'm going to become female, like I'm somehow no longer a guy. also I have a really weird desire to wear a wedding dress when I get married (or wear formal dresses just in general), but in a completely genderless way ??? As a FAAB agender leaning masculine person, I'm just torn because either I don't wear dresses anymore, but I'm no longer misgendered. Or I get to keep having fun looking good in dresses, but have to put up with the severe social dysphoria that comes along with wearing a dress. I guess I'm just insecure about my gender. And I don't want to invalidate it by doing something perceived as female.
Don't be. Gender identity and gender expression are two things. You will see over time that there will be a blending. A new you will evolve, with the parts you feel are important at the core. Some new parts will appear. And some old parts will fade away. But parts of things you liked will remain. Your preference in cooking... your preference for some dresses... whatever... and its perfectly ok. They are part of you. Don't go against parts of you because they do not fit a stereotype. Men can like puppys and be emotional. Its completely ok. It makes you a varied personality. What about a sharp looking elegant suit with really soft cloth instead ? The best of both worlds ?
Thanks jay777 (*hug*) That's really good advice and a great reminder; I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Ooh, that suit sounds nice actually... I've got a female blazer thats sort of this spandexy material right now that squares out my shoulders, yet hugs my waist, its the perfect mix in my mind.
