Unfortunatly I'm butch. Around here that's absolutly unacceptable. I like to wear men's colonge and clothes and to "guy stuff". The problem is my mom objects to these things because there's an off chance people might think I'm gay and rape and kidnap and kill and harass me. She'll punish me pretty harshly for being myself. I can't even get short hair. I get to have it shoulder length in June if I don't cut it short again until I'm too old for her to control me. I'm pretty sure that means going until I'm 26 or 28 (13 or 15 Years.) because I'm getting some money when I'm 18 but only if I go to collage and my dream collages ae both r right here in PA. How should I handle this problem?
I know it's hard. Wait until you're an adult and are in college. If the colleges are far from where you live, it should allow you freedom. Unless, she visits you, she won't know how you're expressing yourself. Check and see if your dream colleges have LGBT groups.
Well you could tell that its unrealistic fears. And her that you will be careful, but want to make a few small changes. You could try to make small changes, with clothing and hair style. You could say that this girly stuff is not for you, and you feel more comfortable in more baggy clothes. You could have a look at second hand stores as a source. And you could try not to get too upset but simply insist she is unreasonable. You could just be stubborn, without bugging her too much. And people are becoming more and more versatile, men show emotions, and women can do all kinds of stuff. Its not as she grew up any more. If you are in a really dangerous place watch out for yourself. (*hug*)
Your safety is the most important thing right now. Usually colleges are much more accepting of butch people. Once you go to college, you may be able to express yourself more.
Unfortunatly the collages are both pretty close by (30 minutes and an hour away.) plus it's not that the town I live in isn't accepting, there's just a lot of churches and my mom refuses to believe that a town like this can be accepting. Also the town I live in issn't dangerous execpt for the area around the church I go to is, and even there it's more of a "No-one knows the people who hang out around here so be careful and don't go there alone/without a dog or something.
What about the school you are in ? Are there some people openly lgbt, and how do they do ? Is there a gsa at your school where you could join and talk about it with others ?
I'm not in school, my mom homeschools me because the schools around here are apparently too small (I live in a small town and never want to go to a larger city except for during collage so I don't know why she thinks I wouldn't like a highschool with 300 people and an elementry school with about 600, the town I'm in onlyy has 800 people in it.).
Well you could talk to your mother a bit... that you would like some small changes... and you could tell her to try to relax ... if the two of you try to uphold an image just for people its simply too stressful... there should be a way where your needs and her restraints are met... you could talk to her about a reasonable compromise...
When you're of age, you can do whatever you want, and she can't force you not to. Get a "fuck it" attitude.
Well, you are probably at the same amount of risk dressing like a straight 13 year old girl. Does she think that you dressing like a girl, and keeping your hair long is going to protect you from evil out there... Evil is evil, and it can get you regardless of how you dress, act, or what not. And frankly you should be able to dress in a way that's comfortable with you. You are entering the stage of life where you begin to battle to be yourself, and your mom is there trying to make sure you stay safe. There will be conflicts. See if you can find compromises that work for both of you. And I know you are impatient, being a 13 year old, but you just have to be patient. Life goes at it's own pace. Sometimes to fast for you to properly deal with things.
She think I'm in danger either way since ISIS exists and of course there's ebola and a creepy guy that hangs out around churches in town and the fire hall and it''s so cold out, but she seems to think I'm in more danger if I act butch for some reason even though I've been told I tend to be a little intimidating. I think she mainly is trying to control me along with making herself look good without really caring whether it hurts me in the process or not.
Well many people stop looking at the news regularly since it leads to a feeling of insecurity... much is sensationally overblown... well its an emotional reaction from her... you could tell her that... (*hug*)
