Let me explain what I mean by ''being unable to deal with my birth name''. I transitioned and am now living full time as male. No one knows my past where I live. However, my birth name is really common and I'm bound to encounter it several times. For example, every female friend I have seem to have a best friend named ''birth name''. When they say the name, I have a tiny panic attack, even though I KNOW they're not talking about me. I'm unable to see it written without looking away, when I hear it it makes me slightly panic and I'm of course unable to say it or write it. It's part of the reason why when I transitioned, I got VERY angry when they would call me my birth name. I just wish I could forget it. I really hope I won't have to talk to someone whose name is ''birth name'', because I might seem very strange to them. Any of you have such an aversion to your birth name?
I'm like that too. I've always hated my birth name because it's so damn common--like top 10-20 list common. I never had luck with that no matter what. My mom's boyfriend had two kids that lived with us before moving out when I was in middle school, and one of them has my birth name. To make things even more complicated, she had about two other friends with the same name who would come over all the time. You could only imagine, right? Once I was in transition (trying to be stealth), I was in that situation again with a co-worker. We never really ran circles (we were actors for a local haunt), but whenever someone called her name, I would instinctively look up and then get paranoid that they were talking to me or knew. *cringes* It still happens once in a while when I'm watching TV and a character has my birth name, and it's really embarrassing and a pain in the ass.
I hate my birth name, too. There are no male counterparts to it, and it's a compound name comprised of two girls' names. Because I think only one other person in the United States has the name (with same spelling and capitalization and stuff), I only hear it when I'm being referred to. But ever since I was little I've hated how girly it is. I really wish I could go by my chosen name now. I find myself nowadays about to write my chosen name on an assignment and then I catch myself and have to correct it.
Of course. I'm all but stealth yet, and only 60% sure of my real name. To me it feels like a huge victory to get my dad call me V. I'm out to him, but he is still trying to adapt. I think your reaction is perfectly normal and it won't go away. After all, you have memories of people refering to you as "X" when you were a child, and childhood memories stay forever. It might get better in time I guess, if you try to take the emotional power away from the name, or try to avoid reacting so emotionally when you hear it... Damned if I can imagine how, but there must be a way, or at least things you could try, as experiments...
Yeah unfortunately my common birth name makes me jumpy every time I hear it. And sadly I hear it a lot from my family, though I know they don't intend to hurt me by saying it. So I just grin and bear it, there are some things that I just can't expect other people to change—if it's their name then that's theirs, I just remind myself that I'm much better than that name.
I was very blessed with my birth name, unisex and unique. Although one problem with having a unique name, is I get very jealous if someone else has it. Im like "No, that's /my/ name, I'm Dorian not you".
Aha, my new name is also rare and I do get a bit jealous when I see other people have it! You see, it's an old name, so almost no one of my generation have it, but it's getting popular again and some four year old kids have it now :lol:
