So I went to the city today to get a trim on my new haircut (which I love so much), and I found that I wasn't "ma'am'd" or had any female pronouns used on me. Which was super awesome. The general energy towards me was as if I were a boy (or at least, androgyne) and I loved it. But at times where I had to speak, I felt a lot of panic and anxiety. I was pretty sure I'd get a reaction, like "Woah, this is really a girl!" on their face or something. When I was around 13-ish, I started to try and deepen my voice. It was kind of conscious because I knew that's what I wanted to do and what I kept telling myself to do, but also kind of unconscious because I didn't really know the root of why I felt the need to do so. So I've had a few years' practice, but I still get intense voice dysphoria and panic when people who see me as my gender are expecting a response. What do you do to deepen your voice? What works and what doesn't? I've looked up many videos but a lot of them seem to be post-T and the pre-T ones are really not that helpful. I understand that talking from the chest seems to be very effective, but I don't know if I'm speaking from my chest to my full extent. I feel like I am; like I can't lower my voice any more or else it will hurt and sound unnatural. But if that's my lowest, it isn't enough to pass, I sound kind of phony, and probably feminine too.
You could have a look here: Masculine voice never overstrain your voice... and don't go too deep in the beginning....
I breath through my diaphragm, and do training every day, reading a paragraph of something out loud in the deepest voice possible without hurting. Over time that voice has gotten more masculine. Pay attention to the resonance more than the pitch.
I guess I try to breathe through my diaphragm... Ningyo, what else do you do in training? Do you just read a paragraph or something else too?
I would try just making noise using your diaphragm (this sounds bit odd but pretend you are in a screamo band, voice deep but loud) at first.
I also suggest trying to change your mannerism when you speech. That can help a lot. In high school I went to class with a girl who pretty much was a guy. I call her girl because she never seemed to mind being one and she never corrected anybody but she initially fooled -everybody.- Here's the thing though, her voice was totally within the female average, but the way she spoke always confused people who met her for the first time and it was because of her mannerisms, not because of pitch or resonance.
Humming your lowest note, while tilting your head back, then forward again. That helps. Talking while laying down on your back helps as well.
it's honestly really hard to get a passable voice pre-t. i've lowered mine a bit just by practicing, but it's 100% still female range. i think mannerisms are what wins people over. speaking a bit monotonous and not using a ton of gestures kind of helps.
I rarely get read right if I try to speak in a lower voice. It's hard to describe, but try talking in your chest rather than your head. A lot of it does require time and practice.
Darkwolf: ah yeah, I can imagine singing screamo would lower the voice, haha. I'll try it. Lazuri: I've definitely got to work on my mannerisms, that's for sure. I've got the sitting, and monotone voice, but the walk sometimes feels phony and when I get nervous I chuckle in a feminine and embarrassed way. Ningyo: thanks, I'll definitely try that. Stormborn: I speak in a monotone voice and am as stiff as a corpse when I talk, so hopefully I'm good there. Daydreamer: I try to talk from my chest, I just don't know if I'm doing it right or to my voice's full extent.
There is more subtle differences between men's and women's voices. One of the most striking is prosody - ( rhythm, stress, and intonation of speech). To pay attention to it can really make a difference on how you are perceived. I've been called "dry" and "unfriendly" because I have it naturally. A manly prosody is perceived as unfriendliness in women, 'cause they are supposed to make everything sugary for some reason (which is good for them and I love it on them, but it won't work for us). Make the following experiment : Download two podcasts. One about women talking about fashion, the other about men talking about sports. Both must contain only same gender speakers talking to their homologues (women talking to men and viceversa are not good examples, they actually change the way they talk for various reasons). Listen very carefully to guys talking to each other, specially out there, among them. There is no better school. You can try to lower your voice, but if you don't talk according to the prosody of the gender, you are not going to be perceived as a real man. Also, less is more : Don't talk much. It's a stereotype, but it's there, alive and well, and it will stay (fortunately, 'cause I like it). Be direct, assertive, and even agressive when talking to men. We could make a contest
OK, sorry to gate crash but is it wrong that I don't give a :***: about any of this? Maybe it's because I don't pass and I'm not trying to. Maybe it's because I'm an aspie but I think besides pitch, these differences between how women and men talk is complete cultural BS. Does anyone else feel this way?
It's not BS. Any man could raise his pitch and you'd still easily be able to tell it's a guy and vice versa. There's much more to speech than just pitch.
Awesome, Vodkabaret, that's a really good idea. I'll do it, when I have a bit of time. ---------- Post added 4th Mar 2015 at 07:24 AM ---------- Exactly, and when I lower my pitch people can tell that I have a girl's voice.
