So, this week has sucked. I've been forced outed to everyone now. I told 3 people. One told another and the other 2 told my whole school pretty much. Everyone who knows me now sees me as a transsexual. I'm upset, I was talked out of suicide this morning and I don't know whether to confront everyone about it and deny it, or to just go back to bed (as in this day sucks, let's sleep for 12 hours not 12 centuries.) If you were just outed to everyone but your parents (which I'd rather them know then my whole school.) what the hell would you do, or is there just any advice to this because quite honestly now I just feel like sh*t. Everyone is totally supportive of it, but I don't want them to know. I didn't want anyone to know except the 3 people I originally told. I'm outed, and I'm scared and I feel vulnerable. Everyone knows my deepest secret even though I don't even know if I'm non-binary or a transguy. Everyone has heard I'm a transguy, so I'm stuck. What do I do? Sleep it off or confront everyone? Or even just deny it. Any words or a comment is like gold to me so thank you very f*****ing much in ahead a time.
First off- condolences on being forcibly outed. I don't know from first hand but I am sure I have an idea of how terrible that would be, I am sorry. With regards to practical advice, obviously there are many people who would gladly talk with you- myself included- much sooner than see any harm come to you. I would recommend sleeping off the initial shock before making a command decision on the denial v. confrontation issue. Following this, given the choice between confirming that you are a transguy in the eyes of the people or denying it, I would choose the former as it does seem to be closer to your overall identity based on the information you have provided. In possibly unrelated news, judging only by the used of the word "school" and the presence of a hyperactive rumor mill, I will assume that you are in high school. From this I can tell you that it will simply become another odd fact of life for them, as in "Oh yeah, that's odd but I don't really care." Unless you live in a rather intolerant region but the Chicago area should be fine. You may take that with a grain of salt as I would think that my area also wouldn't be too bad but here I am- in the closet. Also, even if you are in your first year of high school, you only have to put up with the outcome of this for 3-4 more years max. During this time you may see fit to manipulate your overall image to something more in line with your identity. This entire mess can be reduced to this- Is your identity closer to transgender identity given to you by the rumor mill or your given identity? Given your preferred pronouns and adoption of the term "transguy" I would- again- go with the former. If you do tern out to be non-binary, you can always claim that you are at an odd stage of the transition and continue to be at that stage while you "wait for the paperwork to go through" until you graduate and leave everyone behind. The issue with your parents is a whole other issue and ultimately the more challenging. I have not been good at advising on this so I will not do so unless you ask directly. I hope the rest was helpful though and good luck with your new-found pursuits! -Tamara
First, calm down. Second... You can't go back now. It would be very silly to try to deny it. So, what comes next is to move on from here. Try to identify what is the thing that upsets you the most. You've said they are totally supportive, so it's not like you are afraid that they'll call you witch and go after your very skin. There is the occasional fool that will make a dumb comment, but who listens to fools... You've got your friends, and you've got yourself, and besides you can't be loved by everybody on earth. There will be always someone who doesn't like you, sometimes a lot of people, sometimes one or two... If somebody goes after you (now or later) it's not because you came out, they are more likely to use the chance to attack you, knowing you might feel vulnerable. I think what might have hurted you the most is the breach of trust you've experienced. It's a hard blow to take. You told these people 'cause you thought they were worth it, and you've been dissapointed. Internally you are feeling shame, and probably hate against yourself for being so naive. That is what is really eating you. It cannot be undone, so it's time to move on. I'd come out to my parents, because they might feel betrayed by you if they hear it through the grapevine. They might ask themselves "why didn't our child trust us? what have we done to deserve this?" If you feel vulnerable, it will show, and it might not work in your favor, so I'd try to calm down as much as possible and come out to my parents, plain and simple. ... And of course I'd think again if these "friends" you spoke about are really worth your friendship. Sorry it happened to you, but life is about learning, and sometimes the lesson is hard to chew, but you need to move on to the next stage. Good luck. I hope it all goes well.
When i came out to my school, i kind of counted on this happening and used it as a tool. I cant imagine what it must feel like to be outed like that. Im very sorry. But at least they know now, so u can easily advance with your life by not denying it. The choice is entirely up to you, but i would suggest not denying it. I would also suggest to coming out to your parents, but i understand if you dont as my family doesnt know yet either.
oh this happen to me before people really was not to sure to take it so they just called me names and I had to change schools so many times all because of it happening to me since gotten abandoned by so many people I just stop telling people that I was a transgender male cause i can't risk being pick on or getting this i just thought you was some random fag
