At the moment my wardrobe is filled with feminine clothing. My mom hates going shopping for clothes though because she says that I have a lot already, and I don't need anymore. The thing is, I only wear about 1-6/1-7 of what is in my wardrobe and cycle through that because I only feel comfortable wearing unisex/masculine/androgynous clothing. I haven't fully come out to my mom, but how can I tell her that I really need new clothing to feel comfortable in? Honestly, if I had the option, I would burn the majority of the clothes in my closet, but obviously I can't do that. If I tell her this, she will most likely say that we go shopping to often, which is true, but only because I buy a shirt or two at a time because I feel bad spending a lot of money on clothes, but that seems to be the only solution to this problem for me. The first step I took is letting my sister go through and pick what she wanted, but that barely made a dent... Any help or stories of what you have done in the past would be greatly appreciated! Thank you for your time and I hope you have a fantastic day!
Well first off, are you old enough to get a job? I'm not saying that to be rude, just it's a lot easier when you have your own money. I basically lived off of clothes I got for Christmas/Birthday until I got a job.
Sadly, I'm not old enough to get a job. My parents and I have this new arrangement though where I have this chart filled with tons of different chores and for each one I do I check it off. At the end of the week I've earned about $7-9 depending on how much I did. Once I got enough I got this shirt that I've wanted for a while, but because it was online and relatively expensive ($25) I had to pay for it with my own money. So any particular piece of clothing I want that has a design or whatever has to be my own money, which I guess after a while be enough to change my wardrobe? But when we go clothes shopping (usually with my mom) she pays for any article of clothing that I 'need' (shirts, pants, socks, yadada).
You can always say your clothes aren't fitting right anymore. I see as you are probably a Fall Out Boy fan and $25 shirts sounds like Hot Topic or something of the sort, I always said "my boobs are getting too big" or some other cruddy excuse you can use from biological things. Shopping online/ebay is a good idea or just change your clothing to make it as androgynous as possible. It's what I did. I have a black cardigan and I wear a white t shirt under a normally very feminine looking outfit. Bam, then I bind and look like a dude.
Good advice, thank you! Ha ha, my excuses are usually I lost a lot of weight (it's true though) and none of my clothes fit me anymore. Yeah, I am a Fall Out Boy fan, and I don't really like Hot Topic, but I have a couple shirts that I got from their merch page. The shirt that I mentioned was a ghost one from a small shop on tumblr.
Well, what I do, and I have the same problem, is take what little money I have and go to thrift/used stores. I'm not sure what there is where you live, but where I live, there's a Goodwill store close by. And in my experience, the lines are much more blurred there because items are donated and may be androgynous or more masculine but still be in the women's section, and the men's section may have more androgynous/feminine clothes as well. It's also cheaper than going to a regular store. The T-shirts at Goodwill are unisex and are in a separate unisex section, you have to dig, but I've had some good finds. I hope this helps.
Thank you! Good idea, I went to Value Village but they don't have anything good, so I'll try out Good Will!
I've been there, it sucks, yes. Well, why not trying to be honest with your mother? I mean, it's her money, and you don't want her to waste it anyways... Doesn't make much sense she is buying something you'll never wear. Another trick, besides 2nd hand shops, could be just to sell some clothes online, and buy your own stuff with the cash. Plain and simple. If someone asks you, you just have no idea where that shirt went. Where does those jeans come from? A friend gave it to you, or you just exchanged it. If you don't abuse it, it might work. I did it during my teens, and they believed the story. But being honest is better. You can check the waters, just try it.
Just a suggestion try plato's closet and thrift stores. You can find nice things for fraction of the cost and do so over time because both rotate their inventory more than traditional stores.
I'm glad I could help, and I wish you luck. I don't have as big of a problem with clothes anymore because my parents have mostly given up on me dressing in girl's clothes, mainly due to my stubbornness. Though they still try and I'm working on that. Another good thing about places like that is that if you're comfortable looking for things in the men's section, no one will give you looks or anything. But I'm warning you, there may be some random strangers who approach you and ask "How do I look in this?" doesn't happen very often, but it has happened to me. It was an old lady who had taken her dentures out, and while I may be a gay guy, 1) she didn't know that, and 2) I am not the person you should ask for fashion advice.
Is coming out to her not an option? I'm saying this not to pressure you,but that if she knew she might be willing to go clothes shopping. If that really isn't an option then just save money and get an androgynous wardrobe.
Thank you to all that replied! I'll keep that all in mind. ~ Currently I don't feel comfortable coming out to her. I told her to stop calling me gendered stuff, but she keeps calling me she/her, daughter, etc. and I don't have the guts to correct her and also I haven't said anything to my dad yet... I want to wait until I'm older I think.