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Wanting people to respect my name change...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Friendly Lion, Mar 2, 2015.

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  1. Friendly Lion

    Friendly Lion
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    So, I decided quite a while ago to change my name to something more gender neutral, as my birth name is very female. I started trying it out with a few close friends about a year ago and now it feels more like my name than anything else. I'm not out as "gender confused" or anything, but I've started asking more people to call me by my new name. Problem is, they seem to be ignoring that I ever said anything. I've reminded them on a few occassions when they call me by my old name, but I feel so pushy when I do. I really hate when people call me my girl name but I don't know how to inforce the new name without seeming rude/annoying/pushy.

    Any advice or anyone who relates? :help:
     
    #1 Friendly Lion, Mar 2, 2015
  2. FightingShadows

    FightingShadows
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    There really is no way around it. You kind of have to be okay with being "Rude/annoying/pushy" if someone accuses you of it, tell them you don't mean to, but that you'd like it if they tried to call you by your new name, that it would mean a lot to you. I had to push a lot of people at work (and even got in trouble for it a few times), but eventually everyone got the hang of it and I'm pretty much never referred to my birth name anymore. Just keep reminding people. They more you correct them, the more they'll remember and call you it.
     
    #2 FightingShadows, Mar 2, 2015
  3. PossumJack

    PossumJack
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    If they're just flat out refusing to use your chosen name, then unfortunately I don't think there's really a way to do it without being "rude". If you reminded them and they still refuse to use the right name, then just don't respond to them until they do. It worked for me, anyway :/
     
    #3 PossumJack, Mar 2, 2015
  4. Tayb24

    Tayb24
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
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    Out to everyone
    I would do stuff like clear my throat very loudly in the direction of the person. Just kind of bring their attention to it when the do it. Really, you have to be forceful. You are not being pushy or rude;the people who don't even try to use your preferred name are. You deserve the respect of being called by the name you wish, so try to not let others make you feel like fighting for this basic respect is a bad thing. At times, people will be annoyed with you, but really you are the one in the right, so take comfort in that at least.

    Basically, it's not about being pushy; it's about respecting you.
     
    #4 Tayb24, Mar 2, 2015
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