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I was outted to a person I don't know.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ThatOnePerson, Mar 11, 2015.

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  1. ThatOnePerson

    ThatOnePerson
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Okay, so here's the story.

    As you all probably know, I went out to a bar in girl mode about a week and a half ago. It was fun, etc. I loved being in girl mode, yadda yadda.

    So I went to the same bar tonight for Open Mic, which I frequent almost every week. I'm really good friends with one of the bartenders over there and I told him that I'm gender fluid, and I thanked him for not judging me when I was in girl mode (when he was working that Sunday I was there. It's really slow on Sundays, so I thought it was the perfect time for me to be in girl mode without many people being judgmental.)

    Apparently .. my bartender friend told his girlfriend. He apparently told her "He didn't recognize" me when I came in that Sunday night. (Where, in fact, tonight .. I pointed out to his girlfriend in an AWKWARD conversation that I had to turn to show him my bust that night. -_-) In short .. my bartender friend LIED about recognizing me, because he knew it was me straight away.

    I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I feel extremely betrayed because this isn't something you go and blab about to your significant other.

    I TRUSTED him. So, am I in the wrong for feeling betrayed? Not only for being fed that lie .. but being outed indirectly?
     
    #1 ThatOnePerson, Mar 11, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2015
  2. RainDreamer

    RainDreamer
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    Well, yeah, that bartender friend of your is in the wrong. Whether a person want to come out or not should be their own choice.

    However, he only told his girlfriend, which means he still limit that information to close people. Doesn't make him any better, but it means you can still go there because he haven't blab it to all patron yet.

    Tell him that you would prefer to keep your things private. I don't think he meant harm, and was feeling guilty and that is why he tried to lie to you to try not upsetting you more (that backfired, evidently). So have a talk with him. A good friend is still a good friend, even if they make mistakes.
     
    #2 RainDreamer, Mar 11, 2015
  3. DoriaN

    DoriaN
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    I would only be mad at him regarding the lie.
     
    #3 DoriaN, Mar 11, 2015
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