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Need a friend to talk to!

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by canadianmuslim, Mar 13, 2015.

  1. canadianmuslim

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    abu dhabi
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    First off I'd like to say that am so glad to have found this site .At least i get to relieve some stress by posting this. I'm a 27 year old female that has been confused for most of my life. I feel like half of my life has gone to waste. I knew i was different than other girls. Was never interested in boys or men. Never dreamt of finding mr right. ive had many crushes on females which always ended badly for me. I never really understood why i was never attracted to any male. They just do nothing for me. On the other hand, I've never had any relationships with girls thus me being confused.I feel lost, confused , depressed. There's no one i could talk to about my situation. I consider myself a lesbian even though ive never been with a woman but the idea of me getting married to a man repulses me. I can't ever accept it. I never ever want to get married and i've told my mom that several times but she's in denial. I keep telling her that im not interested in getting married but i guess she'll never understand why and i can never tell her. she gets super mad and upset when i say this to her.All i keep hearing is that when i get married , all this confusion will go away. Im 27. Ive been lost and confused for way too long. I think its time for me to accept the fact that ill never be like the " other girls" in our culture and society. im basically a weirdo for not wanting to get married according to our culture. Family members have realized my 0 interest in marriage or men but they have no clue as to why i am the way i am. Ive already refused to marry 3 men that family members and my mom have found suitable for me. ive given them crappy reasons for my refusal which made my mom unhappy. i just cant keep on living this life. it wouldnt be fair to any man if i just get married. Id be lying to him and to myself.

    I have been living in the UAE for 27 years where being gay will never ever be accepted. I know that it's not acceptable in my religion either but i cant help being the way i am. I didnt choose to be this way. Unfortunately,being an arab and a yemeni, im considered to be abnormal according to this society and culture. I feel like an alien. Each time , the word marriage is brought up , i get stressed and depressed. No one is forcing me but the parents keep finding suitable people and i keep refusing. im tired of this. either i get this or my mom keeps telling me that im getting older and need to find a man to get married to.

    Ive been thinking about moving to canada and settling there.Finding a job there from the uae. I know that it'll be difficult for me but am willing to do anything just to be happy. Ive got a nice life here in the uae, but it doesnt mean anything to me if im not happy.

    All i need right now is someone to talk to. A friend who'd understand me. Any fellow canucks out there? :slight_smile:
     
  2. itsmary

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Spain
    Hey, despite the age different, you can talk to me whenever you want :slight_smile:

    I think that Canada sounds great. Move there, alone, find a job and feel free to be yourself and date girls fsr away from your family. I think that would be very helpful and you'll find happiness and freedom in a healthy environment.
     
  3. Damien

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Australia.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Ive been thinking about moving to canada and settling there.Finding a job there from the uae. I know that it'll be difficult for me but am willing to do anything just to be happy. Ive got a nice life here in the uae, but it doesnt mean anything to me if im not happy.

    Hi Canadianmuslim,
    I like the sound of this idea. It's your life to live, no-one else's. We are here to fulfill our highest potential in life, not just to please other people, and certainly not to condemn ourselves to a miserable life in an attempt to do so.
    Damie. (*hug*)
     
  4. Cam7125

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I'd love to talk with you anytime. Message me on here whenever you want. I'm not sure how much help I'll be, but I'll try my best!
     
  5. cakepiecookie

    Regular Member

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    I think a move would be a great idea. I know it's not simple and you no doubt have a bunch of practical considerations to weigh up, but if it's a possibility then I think it's definitely worth it. You only get one life (well, that's what I believe at least), you have to seize the day and make the most of it while you can. Don't stay in an oppressive environment if you don't have to.

    Good luck! (*hug*)
     
  6. pinkpanther

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2015
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    Location:
    Stockholm
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    If you can do it, then go for it. Moving to a different country is a task not for the light of heart, but I see that lack of courage is not a characteristic of yours.
     
  7. Really

    Full Member

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    Location:
    BC
    Do you already have Canadian citizenship? That would make it easier. Also if you have some special skill/qualifications. I don't know the ins and outs of it but if you can get here, it sounds like it would be much better for you.
    Oh, and just an FYI, anything east of BC is going to be miserably cold in the winter. ;]
     
  8. eggsessential

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    As a Canadien from Quebec I can say that we are quite the accepting place. I'm in a similar situation too, I'm just very confused to what I am and my perants will never understand this whole gender identity thing.

    With the immigration process, the best would probably be to apply via a work visa here. That way if you are accepted, there is a high posibilty that Medicare would be able to cover any transition expenses regarding certain things. Though I'm not too sure about that part. Once you have that document, you can get a permanent resident card, which would give you many rights as a Canadian citizen accept certain things such as voting. Then after that there's the actual citizenship application. It would take awhile, but I see that you are very courageous! It is a wonderful quality to have.

    Though regarding immigration, I would recommend you check this site out: (it has way more information then what I know about immigration here)
    Citizenship and Immigration Canada

    Though, I remember reading somewhere, that one could apply for refugee status if one identifies as LGBT. I found a site that could be helpful, but there based in BC.
    Information | Rainbow Refugee

    Sorry if that was kinda long, though the best would probably be to go see a Canadian embassy or contact the immigration office in Dubai. I'll include their email here if you wish for more information.
    [email protected]

    Feel free to message me if you want to know more or wish to chat! :slight_smile: