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Questioning (Might be agender)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by leojphoenix, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. leojphoenix

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    So I am brand new to this website, but here goes. I think that I might be agender/genderless, but I haven't had good luck finding resources by and for agender people online. I think what might help is if anyone on here could tell me how they realized that they're agender. Also, stories from other trans/non-binary people might be helpful, just so I can get a more concrete idea of what it's like to have a gender.

    Thank you for your time! This whole process has been really frustrating, especially since I've already accepted myself and come out as bisexual. The plus side though is that there is no self hate this time around, so that's good!
     
  2. Drednaught

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    Well, for me I've always sort of known that I am agender because I don't identify with gender at all. I'm gender blind, so it doesn't make sense for me to identify as any gender because it literally doesn't exist in my mind. (all I see are gender roles and stereotypes) Since I don't identify nor conform to any "gender/gender stereotypes" that would make me a gender-nonconforming agender person. I just feel like myself. We're all individuals, it doesn't matter your gender or what you look like. I hope this helped.
     
  3. randomly me

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    Agender is a label if you feel like it fits you just take it.
    Everyone here has a different definition really..
     
  4. Cam7125

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    I never really thought about my gender until I got to college. I didn't really know that Agender was a thing. But I made a few friend who identify as agender, and they explained what it meant. Before this point, I would describe myself as a "somewhat feminine male", and after a few weeks of thinking about it all, I realized that I don't quite fit as male and I've never identified as female. So I took on the label as agender. I hope that helps.
     
  5. Damien

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    Hi,
    like many of us here, I suspect I 'always was' this way, only in my case I only began to admit it to myself last year. After I began 'allowing' myself to fantasize about guys, I began to also have feelings that I can only describe as flowing from an androgynous aspect of myself, an aspect that I have now come to cherish and value. I don't, however, wish to change anything about my body, and I do enjoy my maleness much of the time. But I also love it when my androgynous nature shines forth, too. At those times, I don't clearly identify as either male or female, and it would probably appear to an observer that I have characteristics of both, although I prefer not to think of it that way...it's more like, there's an Ocean with all these different currents in it, and I'm swimming in that Ocean, and sometimes a current comes along in which I feel (what some might label as) a kind of 'male' emotion, sometimes a 'female' one; but when I drop any attempt at labelling them, and just let things flow, I feel a sense of freedom, so I'm going more with that as time passes. Kind of like, "no need to label, just relax and be what comes naturally'.
     
    #5 Damien, Mar 15, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2015
  6. Fandom obsessed

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    Just take your time and don't try to rush in figuring this out.
     
  7. C P

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    It pretty much clicked when I realized that there was an identity associated with my feelings. I didn't feel much pressure associated with gender roles and such growing; not just because I feel they are bs but also because I don't/didn't see myself as either of the 'two' anyways(aside from what little comes from simply being raised as one).

    As Dreadnaught mentions, I don't really see gender(when it comes to myself at least). I tend to refer to myself neutrally and admittedly feel awkward when someone refers to me with things like 'you've grown up to be a nice young *man/woman*'; I can't help but feel an 'umm...who exactly are you talking to?'

    Physically speaking, though I've grown pretty content with it(because, in a sense, I consider it kinda irrelevant), I have my moments where I DO NOT LIKE my body and, nope, not talking in the 'oh, I should get bigger or gain more muscle, blah blah' sense; I'm talking in the sense that I feel sort of...trapped, as if I were thrown in this body as some sort of unknown punishment. I have no desire to transition into the 'other' sex, I don't flip back and forth between male/female mode,...

    It's just as if I was put here, against my will... where I don't belong at all. If that makes any sense.

    It can be a pretty lonely feeling.

    Can't speak for everybody though and I tried to explain that as best I could, so...eh.
     
  8. Jellal

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    If you don't mind me asking, what body do you think you'd rather belong in? And I'm not asking for male or female in particular. More like, have you ever thought that there would be a different body you'd be happier in, or do you feel almost like bodies are a limitation for you in terms of who you are?
     
  9. C P

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    I'm not too sure if I completely get what you're asking here.

    Are you asking if I'd want to be taller/shorter or more toned or something... like something that would help me feel more content at the least? Or...?

    I don't really think a body in general is the issue here so much as I guess I wish there was something... outside of the 'two'(if that makes any sense)? Even before I was aware of the term 'agender', I had thoughts about this stuff. At one point I thought 'would I be happier if I had the other parts instead?'(this was for various reasons, but that's another story) That idea was relatively quickly shot down though after I realized that wouldn't really work either. It pretty much left me with the question - 'If that isn't me...and this isn't me...then what the hell IS me? That's a question that's stuck with me basically.

    What I meant by the trapped thing is basically that - whatever I am, this ain't me.

    I hope that somewhat gives a better picture. I know it probably looks as if I'm speaking some language that hasn't been invented yet...