So ever since I've come out as Pansexual, which was about two years ago, I have seen the stigma about it everywhere. The number one thing that has always bothered me was the fact that, apparently, I wasn't "real." Even now when I explain it to people they assume I'm bisexual and it gets really annoying trying to explain the difference since they obviously can't see it. Now I guess I could understand how you can confuse the two, but that doesn't give anyone a right to tell someone their sexuality orientation isn't "real," I mean, what the hell. I know I shouldn't let it get to me and all, but I can't help it, my pansexuality is apart of who I am, and for someone to tell me it doesn't exist is as if they are telling me part of me is fake, it's not, but apparently that's not true. My question is, has any body else been through stuff like this? It doesn't have to just be pansexuality, it can be anything, but have you experienced it, and if so, what did you do to deal/get over it? Please help, thankyou - Alex :help:
How do you explain pansexual to people? Maybe some people just need a more simple explanation to understand, Idk.
i understand how you feel :/ like, i was talking to my friend about my demisexuality and she got annoyed cause she said that there's no such thing and people should just stop creating labels. i thought she would be a little bit more open-minded about that, considering shes trans and bisexual. it hurt a little, but as a couple of days went by, it didnt really bother me anymore. the way I describe pansexuality/panromantic is like this: " 'bi' means 'two'. and 'pan' means 'all'. bisexuals like boys and girls, while pansexuals like boys, girls, genderqueers, genderfluids... everything in between." when i explain it like that, most people understand what i mean.
Dealing with other people not getting you and making bad and untrue assumptions about you is just plain hard. I am still learning ways to deal with that. Simply put, a lot of the problem is not on your end. You have to consider your audience. I know it feels like you can use reason and explain yourself to fix things, but you can't. You're arguing against experience and emotion. So I am going to open up about something. I used to hate the pansexual label. This had everything to do with me and nothing to do with anyone's actual sexuality. I basically viewed it as yet another way the world tried to remind me I wasn't a "real" woman. It's silly looking back, but I saw it as an attack. Bisexuals were attracted to men and women, and I needed a special category to find me attractive, and those people find this awful transition period to be me at my ripest. That is an awful, completely untrue definition of what pansexual is. I will be the first to admit it. But to me, that's what it meant for a long time. Considering your side of it, or thinking "you probably know best what works for you" did not enter in to it at all. When I realized that about myself, I realized other people do the same thing. When I tell them "I am trans", they might think "am I gay if I ask her out?" . So yeah. You are pan. And it definitely is a real thing, which you know because you are living it. Dealing with other people not getting it, sometimes I just have says where I gush and write all the things I would otherwise delete and not post. Being misunderstood sucks.
Idk, if people can accept there are asexual people, why can't they accept that there are pansexual people? Makes no sense for me.
I have an example that might sound unrelated, but I see a resemblance. Something as simple as feeling a bit sad or lonely from time to time. I often feel an unfair social obligation to put on a circus act of being happy, cheerful, vibrant, full of energy, and so on. And if I don't play along, I get diagnosed by family and relatives (if not society at large) of having depression, and being stuck in a rut. Even now, part of me feels the need to explain itself, and point out that I do have a wide range of emotions. What I don't like is some people's eagerness to jump on a medical bandwagon and see depression lurking behind every corner. For me it's a rejection of part of who I am as a person. It's like someone saying "your moods are not real. It's just an illness that's stopping you from being more like me."
I agree with her... You can't. And this is true for a lot of stuff as well, not only your sexual orientation, or gender. I decided to change from bi, then pan... And finally questioning. After a while I decided it's the closer I can get to the truth right now. Don't waste your time getting upset about something you can't change... And don't take it too personally, they are judging a label, not you as a person.
I still feel awkward about the time I got into an argument with my friends over demisexuality being real. Just because they heard a label or term for the first time and it was unfamiliar to them, they figured it was fake. As much as I hate the Matrix Revolutions, there's a pretty good line in there that goes somewhat like "Karma is just a word. What matters is the connection the word implies." That's generally my opinion on labels. The word can help you in expressing your 'connection,' in this case who you're attracted to.
