So I really want to talk to someone outside of my family (I'm only out completely to my sister) about my gender/what I'm dealing with, etc. My school councilor is REALLY nice and understanding so I just was curious if you guys would think it would be good to talk to her about this? Maybe she could help me come up with a way to come out to my school? I think she helped another trans guy with this stuff (but I'm not sure). Just wanted some advice before I sent her an email asking if she could help me with this stuff.
Yes! Talk to your counselor! I talk to mine and she is incredibly helpful. I would say that you should talk to your counselor in person though. Set up a meeting by email with some general questions/what you want to talk about. I would recommend coming out to your parents before coming out at school and that you should be completely confident about you are. Good luck and tell us how it goes
Thank you! I just sent the email and mentioned briefly what I would want to talk about/what has been the biggest problem in my mind. I'll definitely tell you all how it went if she responds this weekend. Hopefully I can set up an appointment on Monday if all goes well! :eusa_pray
I think talking to your councilor would be a great idea! I wish I had that option, but my councilor is against gays and knows my parents!
Okay, so I was in math class and I got the slip to go down, but it said whenever convenient this period, so my teacher said I should do the review for the test on Friday which ended up taking an hour. So I went down to the office afterwards, but she said that she was hoping my teacher would've sent me down a bit earlier because she had a lot of students coming down for something that she needed to help with. She asked me what time I would be open tomorrow (during drama) and she said in the beginning of class she would send a slip down for me, because she wants a nice long time to be able to talk, and right then wasn't the moment. Good start! I'll tell you all how it goes tomorrow.
Oh my god, I'm so happy! I went (I got to skip drama class) to her office, and we started talking, and I gave her my back story, and she was nodding the whole time. I told her how my mom reacted and how she said it was "just a phase", etc. and she sympathized with me and gave me her opinion on my parents and how to get around them, etc. I told her about who I have come out to, and helped me come up with ways to tell my dad. We talked about lot of other stuff, but these are the main things. Then she told me about another trans guy she helped/is helping, and how he did things/came out to school/etc. Then she asked me if I knew my rights (I'm allowed to go to the boys bathroom, etc.), and she said she totally understands if I'm not comfortable going to either restroom. She said she would talk to the nurse and introduce me as Ian, and let me use the unisex bathroom in the nurses office, which is amazing! Now I won't feel like an intruder in the girls bathroom, and like a pariah in the boys bathroom. She told me that I can technically change my name in school without my parents permission, which is also amazing! She said it'll officially show up in the school's roster as my birth name, but my teachers will call me Ian, the seating charts, year book, etc. She also said that she can talk to the other trans guy in our school and ask him if he can talk to me and answer some questions I have (like how he came out to his parents, etc.) I'm sure I forgot a lot of it, but I am seriously so happy right now, that I almost forgot I still need to come out the rest of my family... It's really nice to know that if things don't turn out how I want at home, I will have support at school!
OMG THAT IS AWESOME IAN!!!! CONGRATS!! THAT IS AN AWESOME RESPONSE!! YAY!! THAT IS FANTASTIC!! THIS IS EXCITING!! ok sorry for the all caps but literally you got a better response than I could have imagined. good luck with coming out to your family
Thank you so so much guys! I REALLY hope this will help my on and off depression. My mental state is so spotty, and this is genuinely the first time I've actually been happy, like truly happy, in a long time. Even after typing that post, something really small happened and it triggered something in me and I had a break down in front of my dad, and he is saying that it is probably hormones... and that this is common in young girls. Which makes me so upset, and that's what made me decide that I really need to come out to my parents completely because they cannot help me and my depression if they do not know who I am. Ha ha, I didn't mean to rain on my own parade, but I seriously appreciate it guys, and I know that if things at home don't turn out how I want them to, you guys will always have my back and that is so amazing. <3
I was in the same boat in high school, in a massive rut with depression and it sucked. I got a feeling you'll be okay, especially if school can take the edge off some of your dysphoria. It's tough being a teenager, but even tougher if you're trans. I feel that you don't have to tell your parents anything if you don't want to. They might need some time to open up to things if they're being stubborn or just don't have enough source material. But yeah, we're always here for you no matter what, little bro.
Ahhhh, thank you so much! Yeah, I'm gonna meet up with my councilor a few more times and talk to the other guy who was in my same shoes, and hopefully I can make the correct steps!
Good news! I sent an email to my councilor, and she responded, "Hi Ian, Let's get it going! I will start getting some resources together. I talked with ----- today and he is willing to talk with you tomorrow during 4th period. I will send a pass for both of you and you can use my office to chat. I will not be here - I am in classes doing presentations all day. You guys can use as much of 4th period as you need to. Just make sure you get lunch. I'll let the secretaries know to sign your passes when you guys are done talking. " The resources are for my parents (my mom is pretty uneducated in what being trans means) and I get to someone who is also trans, and hopefully he can help me out!
