hi. I recently joined this site cause i need help. I am very conflicted with my gender identification. I am biologically female. I am also attracted to females(though this is important, gender and sexuality are two separate things). I never have felt feminine, or like feminine things, like make-up, dresses, skirts, etc. I feel comfortable wearing jeans and a sweatshirt(mostly cause it hides my boobs). I cut my hair short and tend to style it in a more masculine way. I was mistaken for a guy before, and it actually kinda made me happy. I just don't necessarily like the idea of being transgender and completely male. any advice? :help:
Are you sure you're not just a gender non-conforming woman? You could also be genderqueer or genderfluid, although your gender has nothing to do with how masculine or feminine you are
i have considered being genderfluid. In fact my brother thinks i am. I just defiantly know i'm not a total female
HI there! You don't need to be a male to feel masculine or a female to feel feminine. The Feminine and masculine labels come from society idealizations. Society tells us that this is masculine (for males) and that is feminine (for females). It is just a way of categorizing things, and by all means, I don't think it's entirely wrong, but it still is a simplification (and restrictive/suffocating at times) What I want to say is, you can be female or male, and feel feminine or/and masculine (at different times or even at the same time) because "feminine" and "masculine" are relative and differ from culture and time. This being said, you CAN feel like you're not the "right" gender. The difference is the feeling and the way you see yourself and want other to see you. Do you feel and want them to see you as a male? No? Then you're probably not FTM. You feel or want them to see you as female? *Yes but not a feminine one? No prob! You are still a fabulous gal! There exist lots of tomboys out there! OR *No, you don't feel or want to be seen as female: then you might not be one! How do you feel? A mix of both? Neither? You could be genderqueer (non-binary (NB), androgynous, bi-gender, gender fluid, agender, neutrois…) Reading others stories could help, searching the meanings of the labels could too, but in the end they are still strict boxes you might not fit into. Hope I was of any help! Good luck with you inner discovery P.S. - have you read about demi? as in demi-girl?
Hey, Questioning your gender is a tough thing to do, but I think one of the things that was most important for me that i did was letting go of the influence I assumed gender-stereotypes had on gender. Really try asking yourself how if you could snap your fingers and be the way you wanted to be seen tomorrow with out any reservations from other's how would you want to be seen? Do you like being seen and treated as a woman. Do you enjoy being called girl? Does automatically being included in girls night make you slightly uncomfortable? How does it make you feel to think about being seen and treated as a woman for the rest of your life? Now what if you were seen as more androgynous, people didn't assign a gender to you automatically, or at all. How does it make you feel to think about being seen as a gender other than female? How does it make you feel to think about using a gender neutral name? How about male? If you were seen and treated as a guy in all aspects of your life would this make you happy (and nothing relating to male privilege here)? How would you feel if you were called a guy, your parents saw you as their son, and people saw you as male? For me the last one, fills me with so much happiness, but its this quiet calm feeling of bliss that no one can take away from me. Being a guy just feels right. Figuring this stuff out about your gender takes time, and that is perfectly okay. There is no rush to make sense of who you are. And wether you decide you are female after this or something completely different, there is nothing wrong with any answer. Best of luck Hope some of this has been helpful ~Wesley
