So, I'm a little frustrated. I've stopped asking my mom to use male pronouns because whenever I do ask her to use male pronouns and call me Cicel, she says it like there's something vile in her mouth and she makes me regret even asking her. My dad is more supportive and calls me Cicel when I ask him too. I'm just not sure how to politely explain to my mom how I feel about how she treats me. Any advice?:icon_sad:
Sorry your mom is being like that Cicel. I have fortunately not had to deal with that (yet), but I'd just have to talk to her the next time she does that. Right then. Explain how much it hurts to be talked to like that. And how she is your mother, and she's supposed to be there for you and support you, even if she doesn't understand.
I agree with "Queero"^ Just be honest. It hurts your feelings and that pronouns are a huge part of your identity and not hearing the right ones makes you feel less respected. Make it about how it makes you feel rather than something she is doing. People get defensive when you start with how they are doing something wrong. She doesn't need to agree with your pronouns as much as support/respect YOU Good luck, Cicel!!!
I am so sorry you are going through this (*hug*) Realistically you might not be able to change her. You can avoid her and avoid talking to her for your own saksake whenever possible. Whether she gets the message or not, you will have an easier time. When your batteries are recharged, you can be around her as long as you want. But any relationship, even mother and son, has to be based on respect, and from what you're saying, I am not sure that is possible yet. If you give her time, I really feel like things will get better and she will come around. But you can't force it. Don't feel bad for taking care of yourself in the meantime.
OP, my mom is exactly the same. The amount of pain and frustration I know it causes her made me to decide to give up on changing her mind. I'm just going to let her work things out on her own and do my best to ignore her remarks; it hasn't been productive for me having conversations with her about respecting my gender identity. If she ever admits that maybe she could see things differently, then I will listen to and accept her apology. Until then, I just don't breach that topic of conversation with her, and move on with my life.
