Hello everyone! Found this forum looking for advice online, and realized there probably isn't any around for my question! So here I am asking you all I am a female assigned at birth genderqueer gal, who generally goes by female pronouns except for when I get too dysphoric, and then I ask to go by male pronouns. I have a tendency to dress myself wildly across the gender spectrum, and have great pride in my style. I'm headed to law school after my last year in undergrad, and once I become a lawyer I feel like it will be difficult for me to express my gender identity with confidence. Does anyone have experience being genderqueer in the workplace? Will a judge ask me to change if I was in yesterday in a skirt and blouse, and come in tomorrow with a men's suit on and wearing a binder? Is it considered taboo in the workplace? I know a lot of people will say it isn't my coworkers' place to ask me "where my boobs went" but people do stare and ask... and lawyers are definitely nosy lol! and I have a feeling it's definitely inappropriate to ask my colleagues to use different names/pronouns with me some days. I am alright with that, but I would still want to dress in a way that makes me feel confident, especially when confidence is everything in a courtroom! In my current and past jobs (all part-time) when I've bound my coworkers have never gone so far as to ask me anything explicit about it or ask me to change, but I've also been very careful about making sure I still adhere to dress code and still look presentable for work. Anyone have any real-life experience with this in their careers?
I think (unfortunately) if you have expensive well-tailored stuff people are likely to still see you as put together. Elitism sucks, but when you're bending the gender rules it doesn't hurt to leave an impression by being impeccably dressed to the extent you can afford it. Also I think that if you dress differently from day to day people are more likely to notice than if you're consistently androgynous. Other than that it depends on your work environment and what kind of law you practice and what the firm's policies are. If they have an LGBTQ employee group at the firm or a diversity chair you can go to, you're probably gonna be in decent hands. Also you might want to talk to professors once you get there; there might even be a law school LGBTQ group (or you could start one!) In the end though, you have to decide whether to try to blend in or be confidently visible. You could even start out being more conforming and then shift your expression as you see fit. I work in academia so I don't really have too much experience dressing formally, but I have worn a binder under a women's blazer, with a scarf to hide the lack of bump. When in doubt, I go preppy/basic. Hope this helps!
Thank you for your reply and helpful advice! I have every intention of dressing to the nines so hopefully that will work positively for me. I know there are some larger firms with LGBTQ policies and groups, representation, etc, but I also know that there are many without. I will definitely speak more about this to people in the law area once I have more access to some as professors, mentors, etc. Currently my university is pretty lacking, haha! Thanks again )))
