Good afternoon, folks! I've been having a rough time as of lately. This is my last semester at my current college before I transfer to a university. I'm really excited because this university has a great program for LGBT students and has dormitories specifically for those looking for gender inclusion. I couldn't be happier, yet I feel pretty miserable. Months ago, maybe even a year, I talked with my therapist about my genderfluidity. She told me that she never saw any issues with my gender, but we talked it over and found that I do have a fluid identity and want to be both male and female. Recently, however, I've been trying to live moreso as a young woman, and my girlfriend's been amazing at using the correct names and pronouns. If anything, I feel like my therapist hasn't accepted me, even if I've told her I don't want to transition through pain and lots of bills. It might not even be her. It might just be me! I feel like I'm being in a tug-of-war match with myself, and I just want to feel like -me-, whatever that is I don't know. I want to be a woman, yet I don't feel like going through all of the transition woes. I already feel like a woman, but reality always comes and slaps me around, letting me know what I'm not. Thoughts, anyone?:tears:
I'm sorry you're going through this! But it seems maybe this sort of thing is new for your therapist? Perhaps she doesn't know very much about gender fluidity. Continue talking with her about it. Have you looked stuff up about it? If you have, maybe you can talk to her about what you know about it. To help her learn about it and hopefully be able to help you better. If it doesn't work, then you can try finding a therapist that knows more about gender identity and gender expression. With how you feel, play around with different stuff that you might like! Different clothes, hairstyles, anything that you can think of that will help you feel more like you. I hate when reality slaps me in the face too, but I always try to remember that my body doesn't define who I am. It may not match how I'm feeling with who I am sometimes, but that doesn't make me any less of who I am! Try to remember that. Your body does not define who you are. I hope it all gets better!!
