Hey, so it wasn't until a year ago I realized how I didn't feel like a male and seemed to have my first attraction to another male but not in a sexualized way. The aesthetics of certain guys gave me the same feeling looking at girls did but again, never in a sexualized way like I'd felt with women growing up. So after wrestling with my sexuality, I realized Im not attracted to the gender of a person, more as who they are. Which confuses me still to this day. And it wasn't until 3 months ago I started back up wrestling with my gender. I've grown up 20 years in a heavy religious home, so I never paid too much attention to my gender personally because my parents surrounded me with boys, I was uneducated, and just went by the term him and he. Then in high school I began to notice I wasn't like all the other guys. I protrayed a lot of feminin features as well as felt uncomfortable with the idea of being a guy because I found the masculinity not me. But again, I put on the back burner because I didn't want to struggle with it. I've always been in relationships with girls, and the thought of being with a guy is interesting but I dont see guys sexually. So I'm confused with the idea of not being considered a guy or a girl because I don't fit. What would I consider myself if I'm neither. I'm in a happy relationship with a pansexual girl who I love very much and things are very serious. I'm moving in with her soon. It's just with the struggles I'm having with my gender identity, I feel confused on it based upon the fact I love a girl. I also do not mind being called he/him/ because I know my appearance will never change and in my work and social setting, I don't expect people to really care to much. Which also confuses me because they /them and she/her do not bother me as well. I'm sorry if I'm a little all over the place. I started heavily researching it recently and need another point of view.
You might have a look here for a few thoughts that might help: Am I Transgender or Transsexual - Teens Wonder Am I Transgender or Transsexual I'd say just take the time you need... its a process to find things out, get used to it, etc... you might ask at plannedparenthood or the next lgbt center for counseling... and there are helplines for transgender people... and you might play a bit with hair and clothing styles and see how it makes you feel... maybe womens trousers or sweaters... second hand could be a good source... its a spectrum from androgynous to transition... I'd say take the time you need... but simply keep at it... hugs
I might be wrong, but when I read this you seemed to have the idea that because you like girls you can't be trans? Because sexual orientation doesn't decide ones gender identity. But really, just thinks through, explore a little with hair and clothes as person above said, do some research on line, and just think about how you would feel being a girl vs being a boy. Being from SC as well I know LGBT centers are rare to find (the only one I know of is in Columbia?), and I also know how judgmental and religious people can be, but don't let that stop you from trying to figure yourself out. It's your life not theirs. As for pronouns. I'm in the same boat. I've been called she/her my whole life, it's all I know, and it has never really bother me because I know people see me as female. I've also been called he/him by people as well when I put on really baggy clothes and that has never bother me either. As long as no one uses the pronouns in an offending away it has never bothered me. So don't let it get to you.
