Hey y'all The past half year I've been aware that I wasn't exactly cis female. I've never felt female, and I still really don't - it kinda makes me wanna cry thinking about a life as female. So I knew I wasn't cis, but I was thinking about either trans or agender, but lately I've been discovering I'm pretty trans - at least I think I am! 'Cause the point is, that I'm pretty sure I'm trans, but then I read somewhere, that most people(mostly girls) question their gender when they're about my age - around puberty(I'm 13). That made me really confused, 'cause why shouldn't I be another case of puberty-gender-confused-cis-girl? I mean, I could be, but I just really don't feel like. For example, I can't imagine going trough life as a woman(I hate that word) instead of as a male. I'm thinking, that if I really was cis would my 'trans feelings' be so strong? Like, I wanna seem male and come out as male, and I had decided to come out to my step mother(and I'm already out to my best friend) - she's the most sweet and understanding woman - but it really scared me off reading it could be a phase. It just doesn't feel like a phase, but do any of you think it actually could be, even though my male-feelings are this strong? (Btw, sorry for bad English, Danish is my 1. language)
I've never heard that most people question their gender at 13, I don't think it's that common. If you feel so strongly male, and seem so upset at the though of living as a female, then you seem pretty trans to me.
I agree with Max. I mean, only time can truly tell how you will feel a year or two down the line, but you seem pretty sure about your gender to me. I've also never heard that most people go through a gender-questioning phase at that age. It would, however, make sense that many realize there is a dissonance between their assigned gender and their true gender at that age, because that's about the time when the body is really starting to develop secondary sex characteristics.
I don't think most people question their gender during puberty. If anything, children will go through phases of questioning their gender or identifying as a gender other than the one they were assigned, but usually it levels out during puberty. A child who continues to identify as trans through puberty will almost never turn out to be cis. You say "I've never felt female", which makes me think you are not going to start feeling female. I doubt it is a phase. On the off chance that you do turn out to be cis, that's fine. You're not going to make any permanent decisions at this age anyway. You can always change your mind. But again, your feelings are so strong, I really don't think you're likely to change your mind. You sound very trans to me. Go ahead and come out to the people you feel comfortable coming out to. And good luck
I'm 13 as well, and am trans. Definitely don't let your age bog you down! If you have never felt female, than the other people or right, it's unlikely that's gonna change (if it does, that's totally fine!) Do what feels right, come out to who you feel comfortable with, and I wish you the best of luck! I plan on coming out to my parents and my school within the next month, so, remember that you are not alone and you have support here! :^)
Thank you! ---------- Post added 2nd Apr 2015 at 11:00 AM ---------- Thank you - and good luck with coming out.
i have felt like i am a girl ever since i was about 5 or so. i always liked playing with dolls and barbies and was always jealous of the girls because they got to wear cute stuff and i didnt.
You seem to feel fairly strongly about your gender identity. The fact that you can't imagine going through life as a woman, and want to cry thinking about life as a female, speaks volumes. I think you just have to continue to listen to your head and your heart about who you are, and not be concerned with what "most people" are doing. It's a personal journey for everyone.
I have read that those who are trans, realize it around 13. That's when puberty starts to come into play, and for a transman, it might start triggering feelings that 'something isn't right'. If anything, imo, feeling dysphoric at your age might be a /stronger/ indicator. That said, don't look into it too much, just take your time, learn, live, and you'll know soon enough. <3
It's probably not just a phase, but even if it is, personality/gender/sexuality change over time so you should just identify however you feel comfortable.
I felt exactly the same way, just with the boys. ---------- Post added 4th Apr 2015 at 10:09 AM ---------- I think you're right. Thanks. ---------- Post added 4th Apr 2015 at 10:09 AM ---------- That sounds accurate. Thank you! ---------- Post added 4th Apr 2015 at 10:10 AM ---------- I hope it's not.
