How to deal with everyday dysphoria?

As far as others calling you the wrong pronoun - it sucks and might get annoying but usually it just takes others time to adjust. If you're using the same name you went by as a (cis male?) then they might view you as the same "guy" you were to them before you came out. Others will never call you your preferred pronoun because they'll just be mean and not accepting of your gender identity.

I really hope that you can just take it in stride and realize some people are trying and just nudge the ones you really care about if they need it. They are the only ones that really matter.

 

Take it in stride and don't show it bothers you. Ignore the words as they really do not understand it. Though most other women around me only know me as June they almost all say he in the same sentence with my name as though I am not part of their club. To get upset or endlessly correct them just alienates them. I dislike it as well, but it goes with the territory. June

 

First, correct them every time they mess up your pronouns. Eventually they'll get it.

Second, regarding everyday dysphoria in general: I like to be around people who do respect and remember to use my pronouns when I'm feeling dysphoric. So for you, that might mean finding time to hang out with certain friends or just going online to somewhere where people will use your pronouns (like here! ). When I can't do that, I help myself in little ways: I laugh to myself in my head about how a person could be so silly to call me a girl when I'm clearly a guy (I don't pass, and I know that, but it still makes me feel better to put the blame on the other person for gendering me incorrectly rather than putting it on myself for not passing well enough); I remind myself that my identity is valid, no matter what other people may call me; I say sentences about myself in the third person in my head, just so I can hear the right pronouns used for me. There isn't much you can do when people misgender you, but little things like those help me a bit. Hopefully they can help you too

 

I try to get myself lost in music to forget, but sometimes it lingers all day and never goes away completely.

 

I try to rationalize my feelings. When it's strangers, if someone refers to me as 'she' or 'her' it makes me feel on edge and often, I don't realize they mean me but I try to get rid of the whole escalation of panic by rationalizing my feelings. These people are just referring to me according to the way I look, which is female and there's nothing I can do to change that right now. I'm not on t, so what do I expect. Even if I was on t, I still might not pass. So for now, I have to just accept that is the way things are right now and try to distract myself from focusing on the female pronouns. When it's my family though, it's a whole different story. They know I'm trans, but won't refer to me as anything other than my birth name and female pronouns. Again, I try to distance myself mentally from the female name and pronouns and think to myself, it's just a name that they call me by. These are just words. However, I would be lying if I said this doesn't lead to building resentment towards my family. Strangers I can forgive more easily. They don't know any better, but my family...well, I just have to work that bit harder.

 

I usually just try to ignore it when people use male pronouns, and I try not to wince much when that fails.

But to deal with the dysphoria I try meditate and listen to music when I can.